Sermon: Psalm 45 The Wedding Singer

This morning, you are invited to a wedding. Now, don’t worry if you haven’t had your fake tan done; or if you haven’t worn your big hat or fascinator; you can come as you are. You see, the summer Psalm that we’re looking at this morning is all about a wedding. We see that in the very tiny writing just under where it says Psalm 45 on p569. ‘For the director of music. To the tune of Lilies. Of the Sons of Korah. A maskil. A wedding song.’

This is a song for a wedding, but it’s also a song about a wedding. Whenever you’re organising a wedding, there’s so much to think of - invitations, gifts, venue, reception, honeymoon, and... music. And when it comes to music, there’s the entrance music, the hymns, the going out music, and what you’ll have at the reception - band, or DJ, or both!

Our Psalm today is from the Sons of Korah, the praise leaders of the temple. And one of them has been commissioned to write and sing this wedding song. We’re introduced to the wedding singer in verse 1: ‘My heart is stirred by a noble theme as I recite my verses for the king; my tongue is the pen of a skilful writer.’

His heart has been stirred by a noble theme. He sings about the wedding, but as you see, it’s no ordinary wedding. This is a royal wedding. Now, we’ve had a couple of these in recent years - William and Kate, Harry and Meghan. But this one is the wedding of the king himself. And the wedding singer is on hand to capture the event, to sing about it and write about it with skill.

Now, for a wedding to take place, you need a man and a woman. That’s the pattern that God established in Genesis 1&2, and affirmed by the Lord Jesus in Matthew 19. And that’s what we see here at this royal wedding.

Now, whenever we have a wedding in church, the groom is here first, waiting around, hoping that the bride won’t be too late. And that’s what we see here in the Psalm, in verses 2-9. We see the king.

And the wedding singer is singing directly to the king. As you can see, it’s all ‘you’ and ‘your’. So what is the king like, on this his wedding day?

‘You are the most excellent of men and your lips have been anointed with grace, since God has blessed you for ever.’ (2) The focus isn’t on his clothing as much as his character - who he is, what he is like. And the reason he is so excellent, the most excellent of men, is that God has blessed him. This is a man who is living under the blessing of God - to do the right thing and say the right thing (out of lips anointed with grace).

Now, when William and Harry were married, they did so in uniform. So here, the king is girding his sword on his side, clothing himself with splendour and majesty - because he has a job to do. He is to act for truth, humility and righteousness; displaying awesome deeds; defeating his enemies and conquering nations.

In a world of pain and fear and injustice, how we need a king like this! With all sorts of fake news and downright lies, we need someone to act on behalf of truth. In a world of social media which is obsessed with self-promotion and pride and self-importance, this king stands up for humility. And as for unrighteousness and wickedness - that’s what fills our newspapers and TV news, and courtrooms. But this king rides forth on behalf of righteousness.

This is the sort of king that we need. And this is the sort of king that is celebrated by the wedding singer. Now, maybe you think to yourself, this king sounds too good to be true. Maybe the wedding singer is only saying these things because he’s paid by the king. You know the saying - he who pays the piper calls the tune. And so it must be the wedding singer’s job to make the king look good. Is this just a bit of spin, some positive PR, at the heart of the government?

You would think so, especially with the way that he continues in verse 6. Remember, he’s speaking to the king, and then he says this: ‘Your throne, O God, will last for ever and ever; a sceptre of justice will be the sceptre of your kingdom.’ Did you get that? He’s singing to the king, and then he calls him God. Is that right?

Well, look at how verse 7 continues. ‘You love righteousness and hate wickedness; therefore God, your God, has set you above your companions by anointing you with the oil of joy.’

Put those two verses together, and what do you get? ‘Your throne, O God... Therefore God, your God...’ The king is described as God; who has a ‘God, your God’ So what’s going on here? As the singer sings of the royal wedding happening in front of him, it’s as if he is also seeing beyond those events to their fulfilment.

You sometimes hear of childhood sweethearts who met on the first day of P1, and when children, played at weddings. Then twenty years later, they are getting married for real. And so here, it’s as if the royal wedding he’s attending is just the playing at weddings compared to the real royal wedding - the wedding to end all weddings - the wedding at the end of time; the wedding between the king who is God and his bride.

Here in Psalm 45, as a royal wedding is happening, the wedding singer gets a glimpse of the real royal wedding, the same royal wedding that John is shown in Revelation 20-21. The groom is the king who is God - the Lord Jesus, who is the Messiah (the Christ), the anointed one.

Now, just in case you’re not sure of what I’ve been saying, just in case you think I’ve gone down the garden path, just think of how the New Testament uses Psalm 45. We heard it in our second reading, from Hebrews 1. The whole letter to the Hebrews is about convincing Jewish Christians to not go back to the temple religion; to instead stick with Jesus. And through the letter there are a number of comparisons, showing that Jesus is better than, for example, Moses, or the priesthood, or the sacrificial system.

And in Hebrews 1, Jesus is shown to be better than the angels. And one of the quotations from the Old Testament are these very verses from Psalm 45. And how are they introduced? ‘But about the Son he says, “Your throne, O God, will last for ever and ever...”’ (Heb 1:8-9)

Jesus is the conquering king; the one who rides on behalf of truth and humility and righteousness; the one whose throne is for ever and ever. And Jesus, the king, the royal bridegroom stands to receive his bride.

Now, whenever there’s a wedding, there’s always great interest in what the bride is wearing. And if I’ve been to a wedding on my own, I always have to take pictures , because ‘a white dress’ just doesn’t cut it as a description! Here, the bride is in gold of Ophir (9); her gown interwoven with gold (13); in embroidered garments (14).

In verse 10, the wedding singer speaks to the bride, the new queen. Here is the way to come to the king. ‘Listen, O daughter, consider and give ear: Forget your people and your father’s house. The king is enthralled by your beauty; honour him for he is your lord.’

Forget what lies behind; forget your past and focus on your relationship with him. Honour him, or bow to him, as other versions put it. There is joy and gladness at the celebrations, as she enters the palace of the king. He brings her in, and she finds her place beside him. The marriage has begun.

In the last two verses, the focus is back on the king himself. And it’s a future focus - your sons taking the place of your fathers, them becoming princes. But even more than that, the king will be remembered:

‘I will perpetuate your memory through all generations; therefore the nations will praise you for ever and ever.’ (17)

A few years ago, when we were clearing out my granny’s house, we discovered her old wedding photo in a cupboard. None of us knew it was there. To be able to see granny and granda McMurray on their wedding day in .... was great. Their photo has lasted a long time, recording that special day. But even longer lasting is this psalm. Here is a record of a royal wedding so that thousands of years later we can see what he saw that day.

So how much more, then, the fulfilment of that day? The real royal wedding that that day pointed to; the real royal wedding that EVERY wedding points towards - the royal wedding when Jesus is united fully and finally with his bride, the church.

This best wedding is still to come. And you can be involved in it - not just as a wedding singer; nor even as a guest. You can be involved as the bride, the people of God, the church. The praise of Jesus, our king and our God, will resound for ever and ever. So why not come today, rsvp to the invitation; turn from all that’s past. Forget what’s behind, and bow to Jesus the king.

This sermon was preached in St Matthew's Church, Richhill on Sunday morning 12th August 2018.

Sermon: Proverbs 31: 10-31 An Excellent Wife

The quest to find a partner is becoming big business. From speed dating nights to ‘Take Me Out’ events where guys have to try to impress a group of girls, there’s money to be made in the hunt for a husband or wife. The rise of the dating website is evidence of this - something like eHarmony. When we were in America last year we were surprised to find ChristianMingle.com even had TV adverts and billboard posters. But what are you looking for in a partner? Or what do you bring to a relationship?

Over these Wednesday nights in Lent, we’ve been sampling some of the Proverbs. We looked at some of the major themes, all building on the basic building block of wisdom - the fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge / wisdom. Tonight we come to the final chapter of Proverbs, to another passage which might be slightly better known. Whole ministries have been built on the basis of these verses, encouraging ladies to be a Proverbs 31 woman.

As the women get the last word in the book of Proverbs, let’s look at the Proverbs 31 woman, to see what she’s like, and how we can become more like her. The first thing to note (although it’s hard for us to see in the English) is that this is an acrostic. From verse 10, each verse begins with the next letter of the Hebrew alphabet. It would be like a poem where each line starts with A, B, C and so on. It’s an A-Z of an excellent woman. So let’s dive in with the very first verse, verse 10.

‘An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels.’ The question asks us straight away, who can find an excellent wife? This isn’t because such an excellent wife is unattainable, but rather because Proverbs has already highlighted the fact that not all wives (and, I have to add, not all husbands) are excellent. I’ve read you the verse before that says ‘It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife’ (Prov 21:9). None of us have moved onto the roof, but perhaps some men (or women) do consider such a move.

To have an excellent wife, then, is beyond value. ‘She is far more precious than jewels.’ As we would say, she is worth her weight in gold. The following verses show why she is so precious, but what I noticed as I prepared for tonight, was how this excellent wife is described in terms of the themes we’ve looked at over the past few weeks. You might remember that, as we began the series, I wasn’t sure where we would turn for the last night. The choice of chapter 31 has become the proper summary for our series, because it is the summary of the whole book of Proverbs.

We looked at relationships - drinking from your own cistern, keeping pure and faithful. We see that here in our chapter. Look at verses 11-12. ‘The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.’ Here we find that faithfulness, that trust that is the centre of any relationship. It’s a marriage that builds up, that does good and not harm, leading to them flourishing together.

In our Lent series we also looked at the sluggard. You remember the picture of the lazy lump lying on his bed, turning like a door on its hinges; too lazy to even lift the spoon to his mouth? The Proverbs 31 woman isn’t like that. It seems that she never stops, always at something. There’s mention of wool and flax, working with willing hands in verse 13. Bringing food, cooking breakfast while it is still dark in verse 14-15. She’s involved in property deals, buying fields and planting vineyards. Buying and selling, working into the evening by lamp light when the sun goes down. Her family have scarlet clothing (which might be double thickness for the snow), and she makes her own bedclothes; linen garments and sashes...

Is anyone feeling tired listening to all that? By the time you say it all, it would be time for a tea break! She is certainly no sluggard. The picture is of someone who makes sure that her family is provided for, keeping busy, using the talents she has been given by God.

But she isn’t selfish, or greedy. Last week we looked at good news for the poor, the importance of caring for and helping those less fortunate than yourself. The Proverbs 31 woman has that covered too. Look at the way verses 19-20 sit together. ‘She puts her hand to the distaff, and her hands hold the spindle. She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy.’

The hands busy in work at distaff and spindle as she makes yarn are also held out to the poor and needy. She opens her hand, she reaches it out. She models God’s concern for the poor, the ministry of mercy.

Through Proverbs we also looked at the tongue, which has the power of life and death. Here, we hear what comes out of her mouth: ‘Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.’ She has no fear of the future, she is able to laugh at whatever may come. Her hope is secure. And when she speaks, there are words of wisdom and kindness. Her speech is gracious.

In every way, in each of our key themes, she passes the test. She really is an excellent wife, far more precious than jewels. That’s the opinion of her children and her husband too. Do you see it in verse 28? ‘Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: ‘Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.’’

So how does hearing all that make you feel? Encouraged and proud, because your ears are burning, because we’ve been talking about you all night? Thankful and delighted because this is your wife that we’ve heard described? Perhaps. Another common reaction to hearing those verses is to feel deflated, aware of shortcomings, frustrated because you don’t think it would be possible to reach those unattainable heights. Convinced that this is just out of reach, like the airbrushed supermodel adverts; that you’d need to be Superwoman to do all this?

Remember where we started in Proverbs. The very first thing we learnt was that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. And that’s where the book ends as well. We’ve come round in a circle. The first note is also the last one. Verse 30-31: ‘Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates.’ What a motto for a dating website in particular, and life in general.

You could be oh so charming, but it’s just a front, all a deception, just a tool to get what you want. Watch the politicians over the next month or so to see that in practice. Beauty might turn heads, but it can become obsessed with itself and achieve nothing of importance. The thing that counts is the fear of the Lord. A woman (or indeed a man) who fears the Lord is to be praised. This is the thing that matters. Everything else flows from this.

You may not be working morning noon and night to provide and clean and cook and do all else; but the fear of the Lord will lead you to live, in your situation, with your particular opportunities and challenges, for his glory.

This sermon was preached in the Lent Midweek Series 'Wisdom for Life' in Aghavea Parish Church on Wednesday 25th March 2015.

Sermon: Psalm 45 The Wedding Singer

When we normally think of the Psalms, you probably think of David, the shepherd king. Among the many books in my study, there’s a huge set of books written by Spurgeon called ‘The Treasury of David.’ But when you look more closely, you discover that only about half (72) are from David’s pen. Some have no author; there are some one hit wonders from Heman, Ethan and Moses. Solomon has a couple, Asaph has a few, and some come from the Sons of Korah.

The Sons of Korah might sound like a flute band. They were actually Levites, part of the praise group in the temple. The leaders of worship as the Old Testament people of God gathered together. Led by the Spirit, they composed some Psalms, and over the summer, we’ll be joining with them to praise our God.

This morning, the day after a wedding, we find ourselves with a wedding psalm. It’s a love song, but not as we know it. So in a wedding venue, with wedding flowers, we listen in as the wedding singer strikes up. It’s a pleasing theme, as he sings out of the overflow of his heart. He’s singing for his king, and he wants us to join in as well. One of our teachers at school used to get us to copy down some notes he would dictate from a book. His catchphrase was ‘pens at the ready’ - and that’s the image the singer gives us. ‘My tongue is like the pen of a ready scribe.’ He’s raring to go. Is your tongue ready to sing? [For perhaps the only time ever in church, why don’t you stick out your tongue to warm it up!]

We all know how weddings work. You need a man and a woman. And if you think about the way it works out in church, the groom arrives first. He’s already here, waiting on the bride to arrive (hopefully not too late!). That’s the same structure that we find in the psalm. From verses 2-9 there’s a portrait of the groom, and the rest of the psalm shows us the bride.

So let’s look at the groom. The singer rejoices in the king as he stands waiting for his bride. ‘You are the most handsome of the sons of men; grace is poured upon your lips; therefore God has blessed you for ever.’

This is a victorious king, a mighty one, with a sword which shows splendour and majesty. A king who rides out for the cause of truth and meekness and righteousness. A king who defeats any enemies. A king who is respected and admired.

In a world of pain and fear and injustice, how we need a king like this! In the week when a plane is shot out of the sky; when Israel and Palestine continue to fight; when Christians in Mosul in Iraq are marked for destruction; when Parliament discusses enabling assisted suicide; when every day we hear of assaults and thefts and violence. Oh how we need this king riding out for truth and meekness and righteousness!

The wedding singer says that he has this wonderful king. Now you might have thought that the king sounds too good to be true. Maybe he’s only saying these things because he’s paid by the king. It’s his job to make the king sound good. Is this all just a bit of positive PR, a bit of spin at the heart of government?

You would nearly think it with what he goes on to say in verse 6. Look at it with me. ‘Your throne, O God, is for ever and ever. The sceptre of your kingdom is a sceptre of uprightness; you have loved righteousness and hated wickedness.’ He’s singing to the king, he’s addressing the king - and now does he turn to God and praise God for his everlasting kingdom? That’s what we want to think. Surely the wedding singer wouldn’t go so far as to call the king ‘God’? Surely that’s blasphemous. Solomon or whichever of the kings of Judah may have been great, but they weren’t God.

Yet that’s exactly what the singer, led by the Spirit, is saying. Look how verse 7 follows on. Your throne, O God... Therefore God, your God, has anointed you...

The king is described as God, who has a your God. So what’s going on here? As the singer sings of what’s going on in front of him, it’s as if he is also seeing beyond these events to their fulfilment.

You sometimes hear of childhood sweethearts who met on the first day of P1 and through primary school played at weddings. Twenty years later, they are getting married for real. Well here, the wedding singer sees the ‘real’ wedding as he watches the king of Judah get married. It’s a picture of where the whole of history is going - a wedding, between the king who is God and his bride.

The king is the anointed one (the Messiah). The most handsome of the sons of men who is truly God, the Son of God. Over in the New Testament, the writer to the Hebrews picks up these verses to show just who Jesus is, and why Jesus is better. These verses are all about Jesus, the conquering king; the one who rides for truth and meekness and righteousness; the one whose throne is for ever and ever. Jesus, the king, the royal bridegroom who stands to receive his bride.

In verse 10, the singer speaks to the bride, the queen. Here is the way to come to the king. Forget what lies behind; bow to him. See how wonderfully she is attired - there’s always a great fascination about what the bride was wearing - here there is no expense spared - robes interwoven with gold; many-coloured robes.

She is brought with joy and gladness into the palace of the king. He brings her in, she finds her place beside him. The marriage has begun. And immediately, the future is bright. Look at how the psalm closes. There will be sons, princes in all the earth. But even more, the name of the king will be remembered.

When we were clearing out granny’s house, we discovered old wedding photos none of us knew were there. To see granny and granda on their wedding day was great. Photos can last a long time. But even longer lasting is this song, this psalm. The wedding singer has recorded that special day so that thousands of years later we can see what he saw.

How much more, then, the fulfilment of that day. The royal wedding to come, when Jesus is united fully and finally with his bride the church. ‘I will cause your name to be remembered in all generations; therefore nations will praise you for ever and ever.’

The best wedding ever is still to come. You can be involved in it - not just as a wedding singer; not even as a guest. You can be involved as the bride, the people of God, the church. The praise of Jesus, our God and our King, will resound for ever and ever. So why not come today, turn from all that’s past. Forget what’s behind and bow to the king.

This sermon was preached in Aghavea Church on Sunday 20th July 2014.

Sermon: 1 Peter 3: 1-12 God's True Grace in Families and God's Family

Have you ever realised that you’re being watched? And I don’t just mean your nosy neighbour. They’re not the only ones who are watching your life. While we may not have the paparazzi following our every action, yet there are people who follow what you say and do. How does that make you feel? Uncomfortable? Irritated?

We’re in the letter of 1 Peter, learning about the true grace of God. Peter uses two words to describe Christians: elect exiles. In the early part of the letter he shows how Christians are chosen or elect - receiving the blessings of salvation from God our Saviour, who has given us an imperishable hope by the imperishable blood of the Lord Jesus shed for us, and revealed to us by the imperishable word. We’re chosen, but yet we’re exiles. We’re in this hostile world while we await the day when we will be at home with the Lord. But Peter won’t allow us to sit around waiting. Instead, we’ve seen that he calls us to action.

In 2:11-12 he says this: ‘Beloved, I urge you as aliens and exiles to abstain from the desires of the flesh that wage war against the soul. Conduct yourselves honourably among the Gentiles, so that, though they malign you as evildoers, they may see your honourable deeds and glorify God when he comes to judge.’ Our honourable deeds will be seen by the world around us, they’re on display, leading to them praising God. We’ve already seen what that looks like in terms of relating to the state, and for slaves.

In this morning’s passage, he moves on to show what that will look like in our families and in God’s family. What will the watching world see as we relate to husbands and wives, and as we relate to each other in the church? What is this honourable conduct? Now in case you think that you’re off the hook, that this doesn’t apply to you - please don’t tune out. If you’re not yet married, this could help in preparing for marriage, as you look for a partner. Or it could be that you can pray for those who are married, for these things.

Just this week there were commemorations of the 69th anniversary of D-Day. As we come to the first verse, it’s as if we’ve landed in the middle of a minefield. [By the way, this is the value of preaching through books of the Bible from start to finish - the preacher doesn’t get to duck the difficult passages or only preach the ‘nice’ bits.] So what does Peter say, and why does he say it? ‘Wives, in the same way, accept the authority of your husbands.’

He’s linking what has already been said to this bit about wives - in the same way, accept the authority (or be subject). Now why would Peter say such a thing? Why would we want to read and obey such a command? Doesn’t he realise we’re in enlightened times now, that the feminist movement has brought women’s lib? Isn’t this just outdated nonsense?

Let’s see the reason he gives: ‘so that, even if some of them do not obey the word, they may be won over without a word by their wives’ conduct, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.’ Peter knows that it’s often likely that Christian wives may have non-Christian husbands. Religion might be seen as a woman’s thing, not something for a real man. The wife’s longing and desire is to see her husband come to faith, but how is that going to happen?

You can try nagging him into the kingdom, but it’s not going to be very successful. There might be some things you get him to do (eventually!), but nagging won’t do it. Rather, Peter says, it’s by your conduct - honourable conduct (2:12) - that they see and are won over. Do you see the pattern at work? As they watch your quiet (indeed, silent) witness over time, they can’t fail to notice your purity and reverence. (link to 2:12)

It’s not just your husband, though, who is watching you. Peter goes on to ask what you’re displaying: ‘Do not adorn yourselves outwardly by braiding your hair, and by wearing gold ornaments or fine clothing; rather, let your adornment be the inner self with the lasting beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in God’s sight.’

Peter isn’t saying that you shouldn’t get your hair done, that you shouldn’t have jewellery or clothes. But rather, these shouldn’t be the thing that is most noticeable about you. You see, some give their lives to pursuing trinkets and ornaments - but how valuable are they in the long run? Rather, the gentle and quiet spirit of the inner life is, once again, Peter’s favourite word - imperishable (lasting beauty). Are you becoming eternally beautiful in your spirit, or are you just like a clothes rack? Peter points to an example from scripture - Sarah obeying Abraham, submitting to him.

Now, before the men start to cheer or think that they have it made, Peter turns his attention to you (us). ‘Husbands, in the same way, show consideration for your wives in your life together, paying honour to the woman as the weaker sex, since they too are also heirs of the gracious gift of life - so that nothing may hinder your prayers.’

We’re not to lord it over our wives, but rather Peter speaks of consideration and honour. In the things you do, the way you speak to her and of her; in the ways you serve her; do you honour her? You see, it’s not that we’re more important, that we’re of a different order - Peter reminds us that they are ‘also heirs of the gracious gift of life’. It’s not that you’re more chosen than your Mrs. Indeed, it’s so important because God is watching - if we don’t treat our wives with honour, our prayers will be hindered.

(As Peter will go on to quote Ps 34 - God’s ears are open to the prayer of the righteous, but is against those who do evil). So when others at work speak disrespectfully of women, do you join in? Are your eyes only on your wife?

Now in case you’ve drifted off, Peter moves from the specific to the general in verse 8: ‘Finally, all of you...’ How should we relate to each other in God’s family? ‘Have unity of spirit, sympathy, love for one another, a tender heart, and a humble mind.’ In any family there are moments of tension, but we’re to still have honourable conduct - so that the watching world sees how these Christians love one another.

Our way of getting on will be startling, it’s not what people are used to - but no more so than how we deal with evil and abuse. ‘Do not repay evil for evil or abuse for abuse; but on the contrary, repay with a blessing.’ Our natural sinful desire wants to echo back evil for evil - you’ve wronged me, I’ll get my own back. The way of the elect exile is to be different, to repay with blessings, not curses.

Why? Because in Christ, we have been called to be a blessing, because we have inherited a blessing from him. In Christ, we have received the blessing of eternal life; we’ve been made righteous as we trust in him. We have this certain hope. Therefore, we pass on this blessing to others. We’re changed to become more like Jesus, so that the watching world sees what it’s like to live under the lordship of Jesus, that they too will come and share in his blessing. Now, it’s difficult, but on that day, as our neighbours praise God because they’ve seen our honourable conduct, won’t it all have been worth it? To him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus, forever and ever, Amen.

This sermon was preached in Aghavea Parish Church on Sunday 9th June 2013.

Wedding Bells

Yesterday we gathered in Hamilton Road Presbyterian Church to celebrate the wedding of Rev Adrian Dorrian to his lovely bride, Anne Graham. May they know the Lord's blessing on their married life together as they build their lives on his foundation. We were reminded by the minister of Hamilton Road, David Johnston, that marriage is a man and a woman coming together, staying together, walking together, and serving together.

If you're friends with me on Facebook you can find more photos in this album.

Sermon Audio: Ephesians 5: 21-33

On Sunday morning we were thinking about Love and Marriage from Ephesians 5. What will it look like for the husband to be the head of the household? Why would a wife submit to her husband? What is God's pattern for marriage?

Sermon: Ephesians 5: 21-33 Love and Marriage

I have a confession to make. This might be the most difficult sermon to preach of my nine and a bit months here so far. You see, we’re looking today at marriage, and some of you might be sitting thinking to yourself - what does he know - he’s only been married for almost four years, compared to our twenty, thirty, fifty years together.

It would be much easier for me to skip this section and move on to something a bit easier to talk about - the armour of God in chapter 6. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves! You see, the sermon isn’t a chance for you to catch up on some sleep; but at the same time, it isn’t for me to stand up and rant on for fifteen minutes on a subject of my choosing.

We gather to hear God’s word read and proclaimed - it’s God setting the agenda, not me. It’s the reason we take books of the Bible and work through them from start to finish - right now, we’re working through Paul’s letter to the Ephesians, and marriage is the next topic he addresses. So you’re not just getting what I think of marriage - rather together we want to hear what God thinks of marriage, and what that will mean for our relationships.

The first thing to note is that God thinks marriage is a good idea. We saw that in our first reading from Genesis 2. God is the first matchmaker, forming Adam and then Eve, and bringing them together. Before the fall, before sin came into the world, marriage existed - one man, one woman, coming together to form one flesh, a permanent, public, life-long commitment.

When we were clearing out granny’s house, we came across old wedding photos. The black and white photos of granny and granda McMurray, looking radiant on their wedding day. It’s as if Paul pulls out the wedding picture of our first parents, Adam and Eve, and then he says that marriage itself - every marriage from Adam and Eve down to today - marriage is a like a signpost pointing towards the wedding banquet, the big wedding.

Not just the wedding of the year; not even the wedding of the century or millennium, but THE royal wedding. Look with me at verse 32. ‘This is a great mystery, and I am applying it to Christ and the church.’ Marriage has always been a signpost pointing to the great wedding feast in heaven when Christ and the church are united forever.

We’ve received a couple of wedding invitations for the summer - friends getting married. As they do that, it’s like the trailer for the film; a foretaste of the real thing. Their weddings will be like a picture of Jesus and the church. But so will their ongoing marriages. So many couples invest so much in their wedding day without really thinking about what comes next - the ongoing commitment in all the years that follow until death us do part.

So what will it mean for our marriages to point towards the union of Christ and his church? What should it look like if our marriage is a picture of Christ and the church? It’s like so many pictures (at least the ones I take) - so often it’s out of focus; it’s a bit blurry; it doesn’t really show it in all its glory. We need to focus again on the original, so that we can copy the pattern.

Firstly, Paul addresses the wives. ‘Wives, be subject to your husbands as you are to the Lord.’ In other versions the word used is submit - to ‘obey’ your husband. Now it might be that you immediately raise all sorts of objections; you might think that we’re just out to get you and control you; that it’s a power game; or that Paul hated women. But remember the pattern - ‘For the husband is head of the wife just as Christ is the head of the church, the body of which he is the Saviour.’

Christ is the head of the church - he leads it, and rules over it. In the same way, Paul says, the husband is to be the head in the household - not to dominate or to be a tyrant, but simply in order to provide a lead. (I remember hearing one woman say that her husband was the head of the household and then mutter under her breath that she was the neck that moved the head!).

It’s not easy to submit, but before the women start a revolution, let’s see what Paul says to the husbands. Now at first sight it might seem as if the men get off lightly - ‘husbands, love your wives.’ And the women might be thinking, well, is that it? We have to submit and they just have to love? But look at the standard of love they have to live up to. Remember again the pattern that our marriages follow, as they point to the royal wedding:

‘Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.’ Now how did Christ love the church? Did he issue commands and demands all day and just be waited on hand and foot? Not at all - he came not to be served but to serve; he loved the church so much that he ‘gave himself up for her.’

Rather than men having it easy, they are called to die for their wives, to give themselves for her. To provide and nourish and tenderly care for her. It’s not that the husband’s will is there to be obeyed, no matter what the wife thinks. Rather, the husband is to pattern himself on the Lord Jesus, leading by serving and giving himself in love for his wife. Men, are you?

Wouldn’t it be so much easier to submit to a loving, giving serving type of husband? Just as the church submits to her loving, giving, serving (and saving) Lord. Marriage is another place for our salvation to be worked out; it’s one of the venues for practical Christianity - real life, and not just theory.

In so many marriages, the wife would never think of submitting because it wouldn’t be safe to - her husband would immediately take advantage. When two sinful and selfish people come together in marriage, there are going to be ructions - always trying to gain the upper hand and control the other. It’s like the out of focus photo - you might just be able to make out that it’s a bride and groom, but that’s about all. As Christians, though, doing marriage in the way Paul describes here; each giving themselves to the other; putting the other first; together looking outward to love and serve; in this marriage the focus on the camera is corrected, the picture becomes clearer, sharper - the picture of the union of Jesus and his bride the church. That royal wedding that will continue throughout eternity which will never come to an end.

For those in marriage, the application should be clear - how does your life together point to our salvation? Are there things you need to work on?

But for those who aren’t currently married, you might be thinking, well, that was a waste of coming to church. That wasn’t for me at all. But perhaps you’ll be married some day - how are you preparing even now, maybe even before you have met your husband or wife to be. Are you cultivating these habits of giving and serving; or just being selfish? Perhaps you give thanks for your own marriage which has finished - how can you be helping others in their marriage? Could you be praying for the young couples preparing for weddings? A listening ear for problems?

Married or not, each of us are invited to the great Royal wedding, not just as spectators, not even just as guests, but as part of the bride. The King has proposed, the wedding date is set. Our earthly marriages are pictures (albeit imperfect) of that great wedding. As we gather at the Lord’s table, we have the foretaste of the great feast. Will you accept? Will you say I do?

This sermon was preached in Aghavea Parish Church on Sunday 10th June 2012.

Two Years Ago Today

I married my wonderful wife Lynsey. Today we're celebrating God's goodness to us and our first two years of married life.

Donard and Galgorm

It's been another quiet week on the blog - last week we were on holiday, so apart from a few pre-ordered posts, I didn't think about the blog at all. Didn't go too far away, just a few relaxing days in Newcastle at the Slieve Donard enjoying the spa and the view of where the mountains of Mourne sweep down to the sea.





Then on Friday we had a family wedding, with Jonathan and Paula pledging lifelong commitment. A great glimpse of the covenant love of Christ for his bride in the wedding ceremony, and a heartwarming reminder of his commitment to us which will never be broken.



The reception was up in the Galgorm, a place I'd never been before, and one that was very good, as well as the interesting grounds with waterfalls and weirs and canals feeding a generator.

Today it's back to work for us, and just getting into the routine again before the Rector goes on his holidays at the end of the week. There may well be a more regular blogging pattern emerging too, but we'll see how it works out as the week progresses. The 365 photo-a-day challenge is now into the second half, although I've been resorting to iPhone captures again. Must use big camera!

Karting Kaos

On Saturday night I was down in Newry at the Formula Karting Centre for a stag do Grand Prix. A great evening and plenty of craic, although it's a good job I wasn't out to win it - out of the ten guys, I ended up in 8th place. A bit of a nightmare in my qualifying heats - crashed twice and so finished last in each of those races! The eventual podium places went to Liam in 1st, Graeme in 2nd and the groom-to-be Jonathan in 3rd.



It's amazing how quickly you can get used to the karting way of driving, hard on the pedal, taking close corners and following the racing line. Not so good when you're back in the car though on public roads and wanting to try the same sort of tactics!

One Year On...

One year ago today, Lynsey and I were joined in marriage. We're thankful to God for the past year together, and in His mercy, look forward to many more. Our first wedding anniversary!

One Hour ...

I've recently joined a new group on Flickr called 'One Hour.' It's designed to host mosaics on a related subject, with all the photos taken within one hour. Not having had the opportunity to take a new batch of photos for a mosaic, I put together a couple of mosaics from photos already on Flickr. This is one of them, entitled 'One Hour on our Wedding Day.' Check out the group and see the brilliant mosaics already uploaded!

Six Months On...

Our Wedding
Originally uploaded by Gary McMurray.

Six glorious months of marriage. Thank you Lord.

Wedding Photos online

Our Wedding
Originally uploaded by Gary McMurray.

I've managed to put more of our wedding photos online now. You can see them by clicking on the photo above, then browsing the set 'Our Wedding' in Flickr. I'm slowly gathering some of the photos taken by other people as well - eventually I hope to have them online too, but in the meantime, you can enjoy the photos taken by Mark Henry on my camera!

The Honeymoon's Over

Well, we're home from honeymoon and we're into our own wee house! Killarney was great and we enjoyed the break, but now the hard work starts.

Internet is presently patchy as it's back to the old dial-up until we get the broadband working. So more updates and of course some photos in due course.

Bye for now.

Married McFlurries!

Married McFlurries!
Originally uploaded by Gary McMurray.

First photo of Lynsey and myself after our wedding - this was taken by Jemma and John Toller. We're now enjoying our honeymoon in Killarney, after a stop-over in Kilkenny. All the Kil's ;-)

More updates when we're home next weekend.

Non Stop!

Well, we're now in the final few days before the wedding - you'd be surprised the number of people who say 'oh, you've still got time to get out'. No getting out for me - can't wait to be married to my beautiful Lynsey.

Been trying to get the house sorted out, as well as make the final preparations for Friday, pack for honeymoon and do all else that needs to be done. All going well. Thankfully.

I'm not looking forward to being on the 'wrong' side of the camera on Friday - would much rather be taking photos, but to no avail. Just have to rely on everyone else's, as well as the official photographer's album.

The Happy Couple

The Happy Couple
Originally uploaded by Gary McMurray.

Today Glenn Gibson married Linsey McLeod at a service in Great Victoria Street Presbyterian Church in Belfast. Lynsey and myself were present, and this is one of the photos from the day. Many more can be found by clicking on the photo, or by clicking here.

My best wishes and prayers for the couple as they begin their married life together.

Dublin Again

Well folks, it's hard to believe, but here I am writing from Dublin, getting settled into my new room in college, starting my final year! It's been a busy day, from church this morning in Dromore, to getting packed up, driving down to Dublin (the new dual carriageway A1 and extension to the M1 is very handy), welcoming the new students and catching up with people, assisting at the Communion service, eating dinner, getting my room sorted, and enjoying the first hot chocolate of the new term!

Tomorrow we launch into the first pre-term week, spending the week on the Marriage module. Should be interesting, and all the more important for me as we're less than ten months away from the wedding now! As we'll be looking at marriage - please pray for me and Lynsey as we prepare for married life together.

I'll update more on my return to college as time permits. For the time being, I'm just chuffed that I have internet access in my room. Sometimes it's a bit slow, but we'll not complain about that!

The Happy Couple

Cutting the cake
Originally uploaded by Gary McMurray.

Not long home from Stanley and Sarah's wedding, and my photos of the event are up online! Pictured, we see the happy couple, Mr and Mrs Gamble, cutting their wedding cake. May God bless the couple in their new life together and in their partnership in the gospel ministry at Knockbreda. The entire set of wedding photos can be found here.