Sermon: Proverbs 31: 10-31 The Proverbs 31 Woman

The quest to find a partner is becoming big business. From speed dating nights to ‘Take Me Out’ events where guys have to try to impress a group of girls, there’s money to be made in the hunt for a husband or wife. The rise of the dating website is evidence of this. When we were in America a few years ago we were surprised to find ChristianMingle.com even had TV adverts and billboard posters. But what are you looking for in a partner? Or what do you bring to a relationship?

Over This year at Cafe Church, we’ve been sampling some of the Proverbs. We looked at some of the major themes, all building on the basic building block of wisdom - the fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge / wisdom. Tonight we come to the final chapter of Proverbs, to a passage which might be slightly better known. Whole ministries have been built on the basis of these verses, encouraging ladies to be a Proverbs 31 woman.

As the women get the last word in the book of Proverbs, let’s look at the Proverbs 31 woman, to see what she’s like, and how we can become more like her. The first thing to note (although it’s hard for us to see in the English) is that this is an acrostic. From verse 10, each verse begins with the next letter of the Hebrew alphabet. It would be like a poem where each line starts with A, B, C and so on. It’s an A-Z of an excellent woman. So let’s dive in with the very first verse, verse 10.

‘A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.’ Another version asks, who can find an excellent wife? This isn’t because such an excellent wife is unattainable, but rather because Proverbs has already highlighted the fact that not all wives (and, I have to add, not all husbands) are excellent. In another part of Proverbs we find these words: ‘It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife’ (Prov 21:9). None of us have moved onto the roof, but perhaps some men (or women) do consider such a move.

To have a wife of noble character, then, is beyond value. ‘She is worth far more than rubies.’ As we would say, she is worth her weight in gold. The following verses show why she is so precious, but what I noticed was how this excellent wife is described in terms of the themes we’ve looked at over the past few cafe church nights.

We looked at relationships - drinking from your own cistern, keeping pure and faithful. We see that here in our chapter. Look at verses 11-12. ‘Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.’ Here we find that faithfulness, that trust that is the centre of any relationship. It’s a marriage that builds up, that brings good and not harm, leading to them flourishing together.

We also looked at work and thought about the sluggard. You remember the picture of the lazy lump lying on his bed, turning like a door on its hinges; too lazy to even lift the spoon to his mouth? The Proverbs 31 woman isn’t like that. It seems that she never stops, always at something. There’s mention of wool and flax, working with eager hands in verse 13. Bringing food, cooking breakfast while it is still dark in verse 14-15. She’s involved in property deals, buying fields and planting vineyards (16). Buying and selling, working into the evening by lamp light when the sun goes down. Using the distaff - what’s a distaff? It’s used for spinning wool or yarn, used with the spindle. Her family have scarlet clothing (which might be double thickness for the snow), and she makes her own bedclothes; linen garments and sashes...

Is anyone feeling tired listening to all that? By the time you say it all, it would be time for a tea break! She is certainly no sluggard. The picture is of someone who makes sure that her family is provided for, keeping busy, using the talents she has been given by God.

But she isn’t selfish, or greedy. In our series we also thought about good news for the poor, using our wealth not just for ourselves, and the importance of caring for and helping those less fortunate than yourself. The Proverbs 31 woman has that covered too. Look at the way verses 19-20 sit together. ‘In her hand she holds the distaff, and grasps the spindle with her fingers. She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy.’

The hands busy in work at distaff and spindle as she makes yarn are also held out to the poor and needy. She opens her arms, she reaches out her hands. She models God’s concern for the poor, the ministry of mercy.

Through Proverbs we also looked at our words, and the tongue, which has the power of life and death. Here, we hear what comes out of her mouth: ‘She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.’ She has no fear of the future, she is able to laugh at whatever may come. Her hope is secure. And when she speaks, there are words of wisdom and kindness. Her speech is gracious.

In every way, in each of our key themes, she passes the test. She really is an excellent wife, worth far more than rubies. That’s the opinion of her children and her husband too. Do you see it in verse 28? ‘Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: ‘Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.’’

So how does hearing all that make you feel? Encouraged and proud, because your ears are burning, because we’ve been talking about you all night? Thankful and delighted because this is your wife that we’ve heard described? Perhaps. Another common reaction to hearing those verses is to feel deflated, aware of shortcomings, frustrated because you don’t think it would be possible to reach those unattainable heights. Convinced that this is just out of reach, like the airbrushed supermodel adverts; that you’d need to be Superwoman to do all this?

Remember where we started in Proverbs. The very first thing we learnt was that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. And that’s where the book ends as well. We’ve come round in a circle. The first note is also the last one. Verse 30-31: ‘Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Honour her for all that her hands have done, and let her works praise her at the city gate.’ What a motto for a dating website in particular, and life in general.

You could be oh so charming, but it’s just a front, all a deception, just a tool to get what you want. Beauty might turn heads, but it is fleeting. The thing that counts is the fear of the Lord. A woman (or indeed a man) who fears the Lord is to be praised. This is the thing that matters. Everything else flows from this.

You may not be working morning noon and night to provide and clean and cook and do all else; but the fear of the Lord will lead you to live, in your situation, with your particular opportunities and challenges, for his glory.

This sermon was preached at the Cafe Church series 'Wisdom for Life' in St Matthew's Church, Richhill on Sunday evening 8th March 2020.

Cafe Church Talk: Wisdom for Life - Words

Over in the United States, there’s a debate raging on the right to carry a concealed weapon. Some claim that it’s their constitutional right, the Second Amendment allowing the right to bear arms. But others are worried about the possible danger. Weapons hidden, but always accessible, at the shops, in the street, even at church. You can’t see them, but they could be on the person you meet. Estimates suggest there are about 8 million active permits, out of a population of 320 million, 2.5% of people carrying these concealed weapons.

Yet Solomon, in Proverbs, warns us that everyone carries with them a deadly weapon. The wounds may not be physical, and yet the danger is just as real. Here’s what he says: ‘The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.’ (Prov 18:21). The little muscle in your mouth can be an agent of death, or a giver of life.

Have you ever considered the potential of the tongue? The tongue used to sing lullabys can also be used to criticise and demoralise the same child. The tongue which whispers sweet nothings to a lover can then hurl abuse. The tongue which shares pleasantries and shows politeness can be used to slander and gossip. The tongue which reports the truth can be turned to tell lies (even wee white ones). The tongue which sings God’s praise can also utter curses of God and people made in his image - maybe even before we’ve left the church building.

Perhaps we only realise the potential for harm when we’ve been on the receiving end of someone’s harsh words. We feel the sting; the words etched in our mind long after a physical wound would heal. Words have a way of getting under our skin and lodging in our mind.

Having been on the receiving end, we need to be careful how we speak to others. How many times have you had one of those toothpaste moments, when the words come out and you can’t put them back in. The words are out there, the arrow has been released, the poison unleashed.

It’s hardly surprising, then, that Proverbs contains so much about the tongue, lips, mouth and our words. Even in the little portion we read tonight from chapter 10, 11 of the 27 verses mention something to do with these. Proverbs is all about how we live wisely in God’s world; how we get on with those around us. The constant contrast is between those who are wise and those who are foolish. The wise are those who fear the Lord (as we saw in the first session, the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom). The contrast is carried through between the righteous and the wicked, and tonight we see the contrast in the way we use our tongue.

Look at verse 11. ‘The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life, but violence overwhelms the mouth of the wicked.’ The words of the righteous are like a flowing fountain, bringing life. The mouth of the wicked, though, is overwhelmed by violence. Violence becomes the native language, the flow of the wicked mouth. This ties in with what Jesus said about impurity.

Do you remember when Jesus is tackled by the Pharisees for eating without washing his hands? He gets to the root of the problem. It’s not what goes into a person that makes him unclean. ‘what comes out of a person is what defiles him. For from within, out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, coveting, wickedness, deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride, foolishness. All these evil things come from within, and they defile a person.’

Your words may be a problem, but they’re the symptom, rather than the root cause. If you turn on the tap and dirty water comes out, it’s probably not a faulty tap. You have to go further back, to find where the problem lies. In the same way, our wrong words are the overflow of our wrong hearts - the problem lies deeper. To stop saying wrong things and bad things may help, but it won’t cure the deeper problem. It’s as our hearts are changed that our lives will be changed, and our words will be changed.

Proverbs gives us some suggestions on how the change needs to be brought about. Let me read from chapter 26. ‘Like a madman shooting firebrands or deadly arrows is a man who deceives his neighbour and says, “I was only joking.” Without wood a fire goes out, without gossip a quarrel dies down. As charcoal to embers and as wood to fire, so is a quarrelsome man for kindling strife. The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to a man’s inmost parts.’ (Prov 26:18-22).

To deceive someone and then say after it all, I was only joking, well, that’s like someone throwing arrows and firebrands around in the street. The Bible isn’t saying that it’s wrong to have a joke. But the way we go about it can be dangerous.

Or what about the whisperer. Everyone loves a little bit of gossip, something to share about someone else. You might even dress it up as a request for prayer - Oh, did you hear about Sammy? You might like to pray for him after what happened... But Proverbs says that such whispering, such gossiping is like throwing more wood on the fire, it only continues quarrels.

The other day I saw a great definition of gossip and flattery. Gossiping is saying something behind one’s back you would never say to their face. Flattery is saying something to their face you would never say behind their back.

So how do we use our tongues? What do they say about us, as we talk about others? As they overflow from our hearts, what do they show about us? Even for Christians, the tongue is a problem. James addresses it in his letter, which is almost like a New Testament version of Proverbs. You could nearly even say that he goes further in condemning our tongues.

For such a small bit of us, it has a bigger influence - like a bit in the mouth of a horse to direct it where to go, or like a ship’s rudder. Yet the tongue is ‘a world of unrighteousness... set on fire by hell.’

We’re still prone to those double standards, the blessing God and cursing people. It’s like a stream that has both fresh water and salt water. Impossible! ‘My brothers, these things ought not to be so.’

So guard your tongue. Watch what you say. Check how you speak. You have the power of life or death in your mouth.

This talk was given at the Cafe Church in St Matthew's Church, Richhill on Sunday evening 10th November 2019.

Cafe Church Talk: Wisdom for Life - Work

Tumble out of bed
and stumble to the kitchen
Pour myself a cup of ambition
and yawn and stretch and try to come to life.
Jump in the shower
and the blood starts pumpin’
out on the streets, the traffic starts jumpin’
for folks like me on the job from 9 to 5.
Workin’ 9 to 5
what a way to make a livin’
barely gettin’ by
it’s all takin’ and no givin’
They just use your mind
and they never give you credit
It’s enough to drive you
crazy if you let it.

That’s what Dolly Parton thinks about working 9 to 5. But what does God think about work? And what wisdom does he give us about work in the book of Proverbs? That’s what we’re asking tonight. But before we get to the specifics of Proverbs, let’s set out the grand context of work in God’s world.

On Sunday mornings we’ve been working our way through the opening chapters of Genesis. And there, we’ve discovered that work is an essential element of God’s world. Work isn’t just something that came in after the fall, as part of the curse on mankind. No, work existed before the fall, part of the original creation mandate - but that work was then cursed because of Adam and Eve’s sin.

So in Genesis 1, the command is to ‘Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves on the ground.’ (Gen 1:28). And in Genesis 2, Adam is placed in the Garden of Eden ‘to work it and take care of it.’ (Gen 2:15)

Even if Adam and Eve had never rebelled, they still would have been working. But now, in this paradise-lost world, we find that: ‘Cursed is the ground because of you; through painful toil you will eat of it all the days of your life. It will produce thorns and thistles for you, and you will eat the plants of the field. By the sweat of your brow you will eat your food until you return to the ground...’ (Gen 3:17-19).

It’s because of this curse that we find that work can be frustrating, or painful. It’s why we experience (or see others experiencing) the Sunday night blues, or Monday-itis. The weekend has passed, and another week at work approaches. (Apologies if this is bringing on a case of the Sunday night blues right now...)

So how should we go about our work? Is God interested in that? Has he anything to say about work? Well, on the tables, you have a little booklet of all the collected wisdom about work from the book of Proverbs. As you can see, God has quite a bit to say about work - in lots of different ways.

First of all, there are some of the proverbs that encourage and motivate work. They draw out the contrast between working and not working. So consider 10:4 where it says ‘Lazy hands make for poverty, but diligent hands bring wealth.’ Or 12:11 which says ‘Those who work their land will have abundant food, but those who chase fantasies have no sense.’ And there are a few more similar proverbs.

When we read these proverbs, and the Book of Proverbs in general, we need to remember that these are probabilities, not promises. Perhaps you know of someone who worked hard, but didn’t reap the rewards. Or someone who was lazy but came into a fortune through some other means - inheritance or lottery win or something else. Proverbs is an observation of how life normally goes; of what you can usually expect. So generally, those who work are better off than those who don’t bother working.

And so Proverbs wants to motivate us to work. And throughout the book, Proverbs calls on a particular type of person to work. Even in the verses that are before you, you can see that time and time again, the sluggard is addressed.

The sluggard is the one who can’t really be bothered to do very much. In 26:13-16, there are excuses for not going out to work - ‘There’s a lion in the road!’ It’s too dangerous to go out. And so he’s happy to turn on his bed, like a door turns on its hinges. Roll over for a second sleep. But he’s so sluggish that he buries his hand in the dish, too lazy to lift his spoon to eat his porridge or cornflakes.

Now those are humorous characterisations, but there is a serious side too to sluggardliness. They don’t plough in season, then at harvest time, there’s nothing there when they go to look at their field. (20:4). Instead, everyone passing by sees thorns and weeds, and the stone wall in ruins. It’s serious because there was no social security system; no universal credit or Craigavon foodbank. So: ‘A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest - and poverty will come on you like a thief and scarcity like an armed man.’ (24:33-34).

Rather, the sluggard is called to look at the ant. It works, and stores provisions, and gets itself ready for the winter. It’s wiser than the sluggard! Could there be sluggardly ways in some of us?

Perhaps, though, some of us are more in danger of the opposite extreme - not underwork, but overwork. Of always being on; always working, and never resting. Never finding time for Sabbath, for rest and refreshment. The creation pattern (before the fall!) was six days work and one day of rest. Do we think that we can go 24/7, 7 days a week, without needing rest? That wouldn’t be very wise.


So now that we’re motivated to work, and not be sluggardly, how should we go about our work? There’s a collection of proverbs that show that God wants us to have integrity in our work - we should be fair and just. So at 11:1 we find: ‘The Lord detests dishonest scales, but accurate weights find favour with him.’ By contrast, at 16:11 ‘Honest scales and balances belong to the Lord; all the weights in the bag are of his making.’ Again in chapter 20 (verses 10 and 23) there are references to differing weights.

The picture is of buying and selling grain, using the balancing scales. So if you have two different weights - they both say 1 kilogram, but one actually weighs 900grams, then you’d be making more money than the grain you were selling. It would be dishonest.

You may not use weights and scales in your work - but are there ways you could be dishonest? Things that you can get away with and nobody realises? Even if no one else realises, God sees, and God knows. God is looking for integrity and fairness in our work.

We see the perfect wisdom of God for work in the person and work of the Lord Jesus. For the majority of his life, he worked as a carpenter, in Joseph’s family business. Through that, and through his ministry, he completed everything he was to do; so that in John 17 he can say to God the Father: ‘I have brought you glory on earth by finishing the work you gave me to do.’ (Jn 17:4). In Jesus we see what it is to work, and to work wisely and well.

Our Saviour is also our example. As Paul writes to the Colossians: ‘Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.’

Doesn’t that sum up what Proverbs is teaching us? In all we do, in whatever job we’re working, we are working for the Lord. So let’s work in a way that will please him.

This talk was given at the Cafe Church in St Matthew's Church, Richhill on Sunday evening 13th October 2019.

Sermon: Proverbs 1: 1-7 Wisdom for Life: Wise Up!

Here in Northern Ireland, we seem to have an overabundance of memorable phrases. Every so often, you’ll come across a list of Northern Irish phrases that don’t really seem to make sense to anybody else. It’s a bit like the books from the 1980s and 1990s that John Pepper produced in Belfast - John Pepper’s Ulster-English Dictionary and his Ulster Haunbook. He would take Northern Irish phrases, and then translate them into proper English. So, for example, ‘Bout ye, wee man!’ would be translated as ‘How are you, my fine fellow?’ You get the idea.

Tonight we’re starting to think about wisdom, and there are a couple of relevant Northern Irish sayings that you have either said or heard. Here’s the first: ‘He’s not wise!’ meaning, the person in question doesn’t appear to have carefully thought the matter through. And the second: ‘Wise up!’ or in other words, reconsider and get a bit of sense.

Over the next few cafe church nights, we’re going to try to wise up. The question is, though, how do we go about it? We’ve already asked the question tonight - what is wisdom? We’ll think about that a bit more. And we’ll try to discover where we can get wisdom from. So as we start, let’s ask: what is wisdom?

Some people might think that wisdom is the same as common sense. Have you noticed, though, that common sense doesn’t seem to be very common? What you might think is common sense isn’t what someone else might think - so it’s not common; and everybody doesn’t think the same way about everything, so it might not be very sensible either. So wisdom is not just common sense.

Some people might think that wisdom is the same as knowledge. But there seems to be a but more to wisdom than just mere knowledge. As someone once said, ‘knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit, but wisdom is not putting it into a fruit salad.’ Wisdom is doing something with knowledge - working it out practically; applied knowledge, perhaps, but it is more than just knowledge. Many’s a time I remember dad coming home from work despairing about these graduates with their degrees and letters after their name, but without an ounce of wisdom between them. So wisdom isn’t just the same as knowledge. There’s more to it.

Perhaps the way to consider what something means is to look at its opposite. So the opposite of tallness is ... shortness; the opposite of hot is... cold. And the opposite of wisdom is...? Folly, or foolishness. Throughout the Bible, we see this contrast between wisdom and folly. On the other Sunday nights in the month we’re working through the Sermon on the Mount, and at the end of it (spoiler alert!), Jesus contrasts the wise and foolish builders - the wise man builds his house upon the rock (I think I know a song about that!), whereas the foolish man builds his house on the sand. And when the storms came down and the floods went whoosh, only one house remained standing.

So wisdom is the opposite of folly. And in the Bible, foolishness isn’t just being silly; there’s also a moral quality to it, a moral deficiency. So, for example, Psalm 14 says ‘The fool says in his heart, “There is no God.”’

If there’s a moral quality to foolishness, that is also mirrored in the idea of Biblical wisdom. So someone has suggested that the idea of wisdom is living well in God’s world in God’s way. And if that’s the case, then who wouldn’t want to live well in God’s world in God’s way? Just think of the situations you come across every day - the many choices you make, big and small, which can change the outcome of your day, your month, your life and even your eternity. How do you decide what to do, or not do? Where do you turn for help? Who do you look to for advice? Where will you get wisdom for tomorrow morning?

If, like me, you want to grow in wisdom; if you too want to wise up; then how do we do it? Where will we find wisdom?

That’s the question that Job asks in chapter 28 of his book. He says: ‘There is a mine for silver and a place where gold is refined. Iron is taken from the earth, and copper is smelted from ore... The earth, from which food comes, is transformed below as by fire; sapphires come from its rocks, and its dust contains nuggets of gold... Man’s hand assaults the flinty rock and lays bare the roots of the mountains. He tunnels through the rock; his eyes see all its treasures. He searches the sources of the rivers and brings hidden things to light.’ (Job 28:1-2, 5-6, 9-11)

Humans have been able to mine and explore and discover all sorts of treasures and all sorts of precious metals. But here’s his next question... ‘But where can wisdom be found? Where does understanding dwell? Man does not comprehend its worth; it cannot be found in the land of the living.’ (Job 28:12-13) It’s a mystery. And then, in the last verse of the chapter, the mystery is revealed. But we’ll keep it hidden for a moment or two longer.

Within the Bible, there are lots of different types of writing. There is history and narrative (telling stories); there are poems and songs, like the Psalms; there are letters written to churches and individuals; there is apocalyptic (like Revelation - which we’ll be doing on Thursday nights at Growth Group); and there are the wisdom books - Proverbs, Job and Ecclesiastes. We’ll be focusing in on Proverbs at Cafe Church, and next time we’ll look at what we typically expect Proverbs to be like - short, pithy, wise sayings. But the start of the book is a father’s instruction to his son, an introduction to what wisdom is like. And our reading tonight stands at the entrance to the whole book, ushering the reader in.

So what will the book of Proverbs do for you? ‘for gaining wisdom and instruction; for understanding words of insight; for receiving instruction in prudent behaviour, doing what is right and just and fair; for giving prudence to those who are simple, knowledge and discretion to the young - let the wise listen and add to their learning, and let the discerning get guidance - for understanding proverbs and parables, the sayings and riddles of the wise.’

So to read this book will help you to increase in wisdom, or in the Northern Irish version, to wise up. And did you notice who is included in its reach? The simple, the young, the wise and the discerning. So however you see yourself; whatever you may think of yourself; there is something here for you. No matter how wise you already are, you will grow in wisdom and learn something more.

And where does wisdom start? What is the first baby step of being wise? Here’s what Solomon says:

‘The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge,
but fools despise wisdom and instruction.’ (Prov 1:7)

And remember Job’s mystery of finding wisdom? God answers his question in this way:

‘The fear of the LORD - that is wisdom,
and to shun evil is understanding.’ (Job 28:28)

To fear the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, the beginning of wisdom. But when the Bible talks about the fear of the Lord, it doesn’t mean a phobia type of fear - the way people can be afraid of spiders or confined spaces or open spaces - no, the fear of the Lord is a healthy sense of awe and reverence for God. To put God first is the first step of wisdom. But to refuse to listen, to refuse to bow the knee - this is folly to the fullest.

God is wise. And, like every aspect of his character, we see it expressed in the cross. Just think for a moment of the cross - in it we see the love of God, and the holiness of God; the wrath of God, and the justice of God; the grace of God, and the mercy of God. And in the cross we see the wisdom of God.

To the world it seems entirely weak and utterly foolish. A man dying on a cross, in agony, abandoned and alone. As Paul writes to the Corinthians:

‘For since in the wisdom of God the world through its wisdom did not know him, God was pleased through the foolishness of what was preached to save those who believe. Jews demand miraculous signs and Greeks look for wisdom, but we preach Christ crucified: a stumbling block to Jews and foolishness to Gentiles, but to those whom God has called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God. For the foolishness of God is wiser than man’s wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than man’s strength.’ (1 Cor 1:21-25)

The cross looks so weak and so foolish, but this is the way God saves - Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God. To refuse to come to Christ is to refuse God’s wisdom, which is the ultimate expression of folly.

But here we have the invitation to wise up - to begin to be wise, or to grow in wisdom - as we learn from Christ, the wisdom of God. Wisdom calls out - will you listen? Will you heed the call? There are 35 days until the next Cafe Church, and 31 chapters in Proverbs (so you’ve a couple of catch-up days built in!). Why not read a chapter a day; slowly, carefully - see what jumps out at you; what speaks to the day you’re having; what helps you along the way.

Will you wise up, as I seek to wise up too?

This sermon was preached at Cafe Church in St Matthew's Church, Richhill on Sunday evening 8th September 2019.

Sermon: Proverbs 31: 10-31 An Excellent Wife

The quest to find a partner is becoming big business. From speed dating nights to ‘Take Me Out’ events where guys have to try to impress a group of girls, there’s money to be made in the hunt for a husband or wife. The rise of the dating website is evidence of this - something like eHarmony. When we were in America last year we were surprised to find ChristianMingle.com even had TV adverts and billboard posters. But what are you looking for in a partner? Or what do you bring to a relationship?

Over these Wednesday nights in Lent, we’ve been sampling some of the Proverbs. We looked at some of the major themes, all building on the basic building block of wisdom - the fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge / wisdom. Tonight we come to the final chapter of Proverbs, to another passage which might be slightly better known. Whole ministries have been built on the basis of these verses, encouraging ladies to be a Proverbs 31 woman.

As the women get the last word in the book of Proverbs, let’s look at the Proverbs 31 woman, to see what she’s like, and how we can become more like her. The first thing to note (although it’s hard for us to see in the English) is that this is an acrostic. From verse 10, each verse begins with the next letter of the Hebrew alphabet. It would be like a poem where each line starts with A, B, C and so on. It’s an A-Z of an excellent woman. So let’s dive in with the very first verse, verse 10.

‘An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels.’ The question asks us straight away, who can find an excellent wife? This isn’t because such an excellent wife is unattainable, but rather because Proverbs has already highlighted the fact that not all wives (and, I have to add, not all husbands) are excellent. I’ve read you the verse before that says ‘It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife’ (Prov 21:9). None of us have moved onto the roof, but perhaps some men (or women) do consider such a move.

To have an excellent wife, then, is beyond value. ‘She is far more precious than jewels.’ As we would say, she is worth her weight in gold. The following verses show why she is so precious, but what I noticed as I prepared for tonight, was how this excellent wife is described in terms of the themes we’ve looked at over the past few weeks. You might remember that, as we began the series, I wasn’t sure where we would turn for the last night. The choice of chapter 31 has become the proper summary for our series, because it is the summary of the whole book of Proverbs.

We looked at relationships - drinking from your own cistern, keeping pure and faithful. We see that here in our chapter. Look at verses 11-12. ‘The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.’ Here we find that faithfulness, that trust that is the centre of any relationship. It’s a marriage that builds up, that does good and not harm, leading to them flourishing together.

In our Lent series we also looked at the sluggard. You remember the picture of the lazy lump lying on his bed, turning like a door on its hinges; too lazy to even lift the spoon to his mouth? The Proverbs 31 woman isn’t like that. It seems that she never stops, always at something. There’s mention of wool and flax, working with willing hands in verse 13. Bringing food, cooking breakfast while it is still dark in verse 14-15. She’s involved in property deals, buying fields and planting vineyards. Buying and selling, working into the evening by lamp light when the sun goes down. Her family have scarlet clothing (which might be double thickness for the snow), and she makes her own bedclothes; linen garments and sashes...

Is anyone feeling tired listening to all that? By the time you say it all, it would be time for a tea break! She is certainly no sluggard. The picture is of someone who makes sure that her family is provided for, keeping busy, using the talents she has been given by God.

But she isn’t selfish, or greedy. Last week we looked at good news for the poor, the importance of caring for and helping those less fortunate than yourself. The Proverbs 31 woman has that covered too. Look at the way verses 19-20 sit together. ‘She puts her hand to the distaff, and her hands hold the spindle. She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy.’

The hands busy in work at distaff and spindle as she makes yarn are also held out to the poor and needy. She opens her hand, she reaches it out. She models God’s concern for the poor, the ministry of mercy.

Through Proverbs we also looked at the tongue, which has the power of life and death. Here, we hear what comes out of her mouth: ‘Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.’ She has no fear of the future, she is able to laugh at whatever may come. Her hope is secure. And when she speaks, there are words of wisdom and kindness. Her speech is gracious.

In every way, in each of our key themes, she passes the test. She really is an excellent wife, far more precious than jewels. That’s the opinion of her children and her husband too. Do you see it in verse 28? ‘Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: ‘Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.’’

So how does hearing all that make you feel? Encouraged and proud, because your ears are burning, because we’ve been talking about you all night? Thankful and delighted because this is your wife that we’ve heard described? Perhaps. Another common reaction to hearing those verses is to feel deflated, aware of shortcomings, frustrated because you don’t think it would be possible to reach those unattainable heights. Convinced that this is just out of reach, like the airbrushed supermodel adverts; that you’d need to be Superwoman to do all this?

Remember where we started in Proverbs. The very first thing we learnt was that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. And that’s where the book ends as well. We’ve come round in a circle. The first note is also the last one. Verse 30-31: ‘Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates.’ What a motto for a dating website in particular, and life in general.

You could be oh so charming, but it’s just a front, all a deception, just a tool to get what you want. Watch the politicians over the next month or so to see that in practice. Beauty might turn heads, but it can become obsessed with itself and achieve nothing of importance. The thing that counts is the fear of the Lord. A woman (or indeed a man) who fears the Lord is to be praised. This is the thing that matters. Everything else flows from this.

You may not be working morning noon and night to provide and clean and cook and do all else; but the fear of the Lord will lead you to live, in your situation, with your particular opportunities and challenges, for his glory.

This sermon was preached in the Lent Midweek Series 'Wisdom for Life' in Aghavea Parish Church on Wednesday 25th March 2015.

Sermon: Proverbs 14: 20-31 Good News for the Poor

This morning George Osborne left Number 11 Downing Street, and paused on the doorstep to pose for photos. In his right hand, he held up his red briefcase. Inside was The Budget, which he was about to deliver in the House of Commons. He was setting out the new rates of income tax, duty on drink and cigarettes, and other financial measures. Many people tuned in to watch, and others will have checked the evening news, just to see if they’ll be better or worse off as a result. Everyone was hoping for a bit of good news, something that would boost their bank balance or put a few pounds in their purse.

Whether the Chancellor of the Exchequer has achieved that may well depend on whether you’re Labour or Conservative, and we’re not getting in to a party political broadcast tonight. The deeper question is this - could any chancellor bring really good news for the poor? What would such good news look like?

Over the course of Lent, we’ve been reading through Proverbs, both at home and on Wednesdays. We’ve looked at the beginning of wisdom, relationships, work, words, and now we come to the poor. How do we get on if we are poor, or how do we treat those who are poorer than us. If I were to ask you if you are poor or feel poor, the way you answer might depend on the cash in your wallet or under your mattress, and how far it is until the next pay day or pension day. One way of putting it that has stuck with me is having too much month left at the end of your money.

But whether we are poor or not depends on how we measure, and who we compare ourselves with. If you look at someone like Bill Gates or the Queen, then of course you feel poor. You just can’t compete with their wealth. But what about on the global scale? This tweet popped up on my Twitter feed today, a wonderful case of God-incidence, as I was preparing to preach tonight. It said this: ‘The amount of money and assets needed to put you in the top 50% of the world’s wealthiest people is just £2400 ($3650).’ @qikipedia. If you can tot up that amount, then you’re in the richest half of the world’s population.

Perhaps after hearing that, you’re feeling a little bit better off. Nearly everyone is richer than someone else. Almost everyone can find someone who is poorer. The question is, how do we treat them? Do we look down on them because they don’t have as much money? Do we divide people into the deserving and the undeserving poor? Do we reserve the right to only help some and leave others to suffer?

As you read through Proverbs, you realise how hard a time some people have. ‘The poor is disliked even by his neighbour, but the rich has many friends.’ (14:20) - we see this worked out in the life of the Prodigal Son. He had plenty of friends when he had his inheritance money, but they all abandoned him to the pigsty when the money ran out. Or again, ‘Wealth brings many new friends, but a poor man is deserted by his friend.’ (19:4).

Yet even Proverbs tells us that to be poor and have integrity is better than to have wealth and be a sinner. ‘It is better to be of a lowly spirit with the poor than to divide the spoil with the proud.’ (16:19), or again, ‘Better is a poor person who walks in his integrity than one who is crooked in speech and is a fool.’ (19:1). Wealth is no excuse for sinfulness. Money doesn’t mean that you can boss people around or lord it over them.

Just as we saw last week that how we use our tongue exposes what’s in our hearts, the overflow, so we see that how we treat the poor shows our heart condition as well. ‘Whoever oppresses a poor man insults his Maker, but he who is generous to the needy honours him.’ (14:31). To do harm to someone who is poor is actually to do harm to his Maker, the one in whose image he was made. Yet we can so easily slip into a form of favouritism founded on fortunes.

That’s what was happening in the early church. James exposes what was happening in his day. Two new people arrive at church at the same time. One is decked out in designer labels, with plenty of bling, lots of gold jewellery. The other looks like he hasn’t washed in a week. Watch the welcome team: ‘You sit here in a good place’ - you’ll be able to see what’s going on, you’ll see everyone and everyone will see you. The other, he’s told, ‘You stand over there, or sit down at my feet.’

It’s so easy to do, but James says it shouldn’t be so. We might look at the outward appearance and make judgements based on what we see, but that’s not how God works. ‘has not God chosen those who are poor in the world to be rich in faith and heirs of the kingdom, which he has promised to those who love him?’ (James 2:5). James says that the poor may not be rich in financial terms, but they can be rich in faith, heirs of God’s kingdom - millionaires in mercy and enjoying gazillions of grace. To have wealth is actually a spiritual danger; it can make us self-sufficient, independent, rather than depending on God.

Proverbs provides us with hints of how to treat the poor. Not by oppressing, but in the second half of 14:31, ‘he who is generous to the needy honours him [God].’ Indeed, 19:17 goes even further in its observation that ‘Whoever is generous to the poor lends to the Lord, and he will repay him for his deed.’ The alternative is set out in stark terms: ‘Whoever closes his ear to the cry of the poor will himself call out and not be answered.’ (21:13). As I’ve said in previous weeks, these are probabilities, not promises, but even so, the call to care for the poor rings out loud and clear.

And it all lies in knowing the undeserved kindness of God in our lives. Over a couple of chapters in 2 Corinthians, Paul is getting them ready for the collection of a gift to help needy Christians suffering from famine in Jerusalem. The centre of his argument says this: ‘For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though he was rich, yet for your sake he became poor, so that you by his poverty might become rich.’ (2 Cor 8:9). It’s this grace for us, poor, unlovely sinners, that rings out in the Nazareth synagogue at the start of Luke’s Gospel. ‘The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor.’ The gospel is good news because it brings us God’s undeserved favour in the grace of the Lord Jesus. He freely gives us his grace, a share in the inheritance of his kingdom.

As we receive his grace, so we are called to share that grace with those around us, to pass on the goodness we have received. When we give one of our nieces a packet of sweets, we expect her to share them with her sister and cousins. She’s not to hoard them all for herself. God has given us his goodness, not to store up for ourselves alone, but to share with those in need. It’s great that we can support the Pantry, but are there other ways we can help?

Do you remember when the woman anointed Jesus, pouring a whole bottle of perfume over his feet? The disciples criticised her because it could have been given to the poor. Judas wanted it for himself and his greed. Jesus says in that moment: ‘For you always have the poor with you, and whenever you want, you can do good for them...’ Whenever we want, wherever we turn, there are ways to do good, to pass on God’s grace. So let’s ask the Lord to show us, and to give us the desire to help, for his glory.

This sermon was preached at the Lent Midweek service in the series Wisdom for Life in Aghavea Parish Church, on Wednesday 18th March 2015.

Sermon: Proverbs 18:21 The Tongue: A Matter of Life and Death

Over in the United States, there’s a debate raging on the right to carry a concealed weapon. Some claim that it’s their constitutional right, the Second Amendment allowing the right to bear arms. But others are worried about the possible danger. Weapons hidden, but always accessible, at the shops, in the street, even at church. You can’t see them, but they could be in the person you meet. Estimates suggest there are about 8 million active permits, out of a population of 320 million, 2.5% of people carrying these concealed weapons.

Yet Solomon, in Proverbs, warns us that everyone carries with them a deadly weapon. The wounds may not be physical, and yet the danger is just as real. As we heard at the start of the service: ‘Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.’ (Prov 18:21). The little muscle in your mouth can be an agent of death, or a giver of life.

Have you ever considered the potential of the tongue? The tongue used to sing lullabys can also be used to criticise and demoralise the same child. The tongue which whispers sweet nothings to a lover can then hurl abuse. The tongue which shares pleasantries and shows politeness can be used to slander and gossip. The tongue which reports the truth can be turned to tell lies (even wee white ones). The tongue which sings God’s praise can also utter curses of God and people made in his image - maybe even before we’ve left the church building.

Perhaps we only realise the potential for harm when we’ve been on the receiving end of someone’s harsh words. We feel the sting; the words etched in our mind long after a physical wound would heal. Words have a way of getting under our skin and lodging in our mind.

Having been on the receiving end, we need to be careful how we speak to others. How many times have you had one of those toothpaste moments, when the words come out and you can’t put them back in. The words are out there, the arrow has been released, the poison unleashed.

It’s hardly surprising, then, that Proverbs contains so much about the tongue, lips, mouth and our words. Even in the little portion we read tonight from chapter 10, 11 of the 27 verses mention something to do with these. Proverbs is all about how we live wisely in God’s world; how we get on with those around us. The constant contrast is between those who are wise and those who are foolish. The wise are those who fear the Lord (as we saw in the first sermon, the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom). The contrast is carried through between the righteous and the wicked, and tonight we see the contrast in the way we use our tongue.

Look at verse 11. ‘The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life, but the mouth of the wicked conceals violence.’ The words of the righteous are like a flowing fountain, bringing life. The mouth of the wicked, though, conceals violence. It’s there, below the surface, just waiting to come out, but it’s hidden, for now. This ties in with what Jesus said about impurity.

Do you remember when Jesus is tackled by the Pharisees for eating without washing his hands? He gets to the root of the problem. It’s not what goes into a person that makes him unclean. ‘what comes out of a person is what defiles him. For from within, out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, coveting, wickedness, deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride, foolishness. All these evil things come from within, and they defile a person.’

Your words may be a problem, but they’re the symptom, rather than the root cause. If you turn on the tap and dirty water comes out, it’s probably not a faulty tap. You have to go further back, to find where the problem lies. In the same way, our wrong words are the overflow of our wrong hearts - the problem lies deeper. To stop saying wrong things and bad things may help, but it won’t cure the deeper problem. It’s as our hearts are changed that our lives will be changed, and our words will be changed.

Proverbs gives us some suggestions on how the change needs to be brought about. Let me read from chapter 26. ‘Like a madman who throws firebrands, arrows, and death is the man who deceives his neighbour and says, “I am only joking.” For lack of wood the fire goes out, and where there is no whisperer, quarrelling ceases. As charcoal to hot embers and wood to fire, so is a quarrelsome man for kindling strife. The words of a whisperer are like delicious morsels; they go down into the inner parts of the body.’ (Prov 26:18-22).

To deceive someone and then say after it all, I was only joking, well, that’s like someone throwing arrows and firebrands around in the street. The Bible isn’t saying that it’s wrong to have a joke. But the way we go about it can be dangerous.

Or what about the whisperer. Everyone loves a little bit of gossip, something to share about someone else. You might even dress it up as a request for prayer - Oh, did you hear about Sammy? You might like to pray for him after what happened... But Proverbs says that such whispering, such gossiping is like throwing more wood on the fire, it only continues quarrels.

The other day I saw a great definition of gossip and flattery. Gossiping is saying something behind one’s back you would never say to their face. Flattery is saying something to their face you would never say behind their back.

So how do we use our tongues? What do they say about us, as we talk about others? As they overflow from our hearts, what do they show about us? Even for Christians, the tongue is a problem. James addresses it in his letter, which is almost like a New Testament version of Proverbs. You could nearly even say that he goes further in condemning our tongues.

For such a small bit of us, it has a bigger influence - like a bit in the mouth of a horse to direct it where to go, or like a ship’s rudder. Yet the tongue is ‘a world of unrighteousness... set on fire by hell.’

We’re still prone to those double standards, the blessing God and cursing people. It’s like a stream that has both fresh water and salt water. Impossible! ‘My brothers, these things ought not to be so.’

So guard your tongue. Watch what you say. Check how you speak. You have the power of life or death in your mouth.

This sermon was preached in the Wisdom for Life series in Aghavea Parish Church on Wednesday 11th March 2015.

Sermon: Proverbs 6: 6-15 Laziness - learning from the ant

As you read through the book of Proverbs, there are some verses that capture the imagination. The proverbs might be short and snappy, but the pictures they paint really stand out. So 21:6 ‘It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrlesome wife.’ But as you read through, the one that stands out the most is probably the sluggard.

In three passages, as well as some more isolated verses, we’re introduced to the sluggard. As his name sounds, he isn’t terribly quick to do anything - if he does anything at all.

Now perhaps that sounds great, being able to do very little. Taking your time to enjoy a duvet day, not really bothering with very much. Definitely not worrying about working. To our overworked, constantly busy culture, the sluggard’s existence might seem very attractive. Like the worker waiting for the weekend, or those counting down the days and years until retirement, the desire to do nothing is strong.

But the sluggard isn’t here as a role model. He isn’t portrayed here in a good light. This isn’t something to aspire to. Rather, he’s here as a warning, something to avoid, something to learn from.

I think I’ve shared before that I was in our school play when I was in P6. The production was Snow White and the Seven Dwarves, and owing to my natural ability, I was cast as Sleepy. For an hour and a half, I sat on a chair and slept, apart from my two lines: ‘I’m tired.’ and later, ‘Is it bedtime now?’ It’s as if I was channeling the sluggard. Look at Proverbs 26.

‘The sluggard says, “There is a lion in the road! There is a lion in the streets!” As a door turns on its hinges, so does a sluggard on his bed. The sluggard buries his hand in the dish; it wears him out to bring it back to his mouth. The sluggard is wiser in his own eyes than seven men who can answer sensibly.’ (Prov 26: 13-16).

He won’t leave the house. It’s just too dangerous. You never know what’s outside. There could be a lion on the loose! It’s much safer inside. Better to stay in, you could be hit by a bus. So he stays in. Safe - and warm too, in his bed. He turns over and over, like a door turns on its hinges. Making himself comfortable, getting the best position - it might be the only exercise he gets. Especially since, when he does eventually get up, it’s too much work to even bring his hand up to his mouth. It’s such a strain, it’s too much to do. So he sits, lazily, slumped over. Just don’t try to convince him otherwise. He reckons he’s wiser than seven sensible men.

What a picture! What a man! (Or woman). While we might not find such an extreme example, could there be samples of sluggardliness in most of us? Perhaps the parents of teenagers find a bit of truth in those verses. But maybe it’s not just the young who can be a bit sluggardly.

Watching some friends on Facebook talk about Sunday night blues or Mondayitis because another weekend is over and it’s back to work could be a mild form of this sluggardliness. Or perhaps there are some things we have to do that we don’t really want to do, so we delay, we leave them until we really, really have to.

Some of us might even be procrastinators - putting things off until the last minute. My homeworks and essays at college were like that - my (very sensible) reasoning (in my own eyes) was that if I spent ages writing an essay on Tuesday that wasn’t due until Friday, and Jesus came back on Wednesday, then that was a waste! A new form of procrastination has been conceived - procaffeination, the delaying of work until you’ve had a good cup of coffee.

So the sluggard sounds attractive. We might even have recognised that we have a wee bit of sluggardliness in us. It sounds great, doesn’t it, after a hard day’s work: ‘A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest.’ Thankfully no one is demonstrating that right now, but it sounds delightful. And yet, twice, we’re told that it is the slippery slope to poverty and want.

I grew up on the main street in the middle of Dromore. It might be a small place in the country, but I am a townie. But as I drive around, I’m getting to know the fields, to see what’s growing, and what’s happening in them. You would be better at that than me. But all of us would be able to see what is there in the field of the sluggard in Proverbs 24. It’s overgrown with thorns, covered with nettles, the stone wall broken down (so animals can roam freely). The sluggard doesn’t bother to work, to keep everything right, so he has no way of growing crops, so no way of eating. There’s no welfare state here, no payments to keep people going. Sleep, slumber, and poverty comes.

Now I’m sure you can think of an exception to that. Sometimes the laziest of people come into a great fortune - they maybe receive an inheritance; they might win the lottery. while some hard-working people work away and just can’t keep their head above water. But, like the rest of Proverbs, what we have here are probabilities, not promises. Proverbs is the observation of life in God’s world, and this is the way things generally happen. There may be exceptions, but not always. If you tend to sleep and slumber, then poverty will tend to come.

Just as the Lord Jesus points to nature to keep us from worrying - the birds and the flowers - so Solomon in the early chapters points to nature to keep us from being sluggardly. ‘Go to the ant, O sluggard; consider her ways and be wise. There’s no boss, no ruler, no manager, yet all the ants get on with their work. They store up food ready for the winter. And Solomon says, if even the wee ant works, then why not you?

Watch the ant, says Solomon, and stop being sluggardly. That’s a wise thing to do for anyone and everyone. But for the Christian, it’s also a command. In both of Paul’s letters to the church in Thessalonica, he refers to work. He says that it’s a good thing, if you’re able to - ‘For we hear that some among you walk in idleness, not busy at work but busybodies. Now such persons we command and encourage in the Lord Jesus Christ to do their work quietly and to earn their own living.’

Sometimes we reckon that work must have been part of the fall, part of the curse. But Adam and Eve were placed in the Garden of Eden to tend and care for it. They had work to do in paradise. The fall only corrupted it, brought strain and sweat and toil. That’s why things aren’t always straightforward, why the confusions and frustrations happen.

The Lord Jesus came to complete his work, to do all that the Father wanted of him. And when he had finished it all, he sat down. He entered his rest. He wasn’t sluggardly. He was perfectly in keeping with God’s will and God’s work. So we can take refuge in the finished work of Christ for us, and bring him our frustrations. Let’s learn from the ant, and shake ourselves from sluggardliness.

This sermon was preached in Aghavea Parish Church at the Lent Midweek series on Wednesday 4th March 2015.

Sermon: Proverbs 5: 1-23 Wisdom for Life - Relationships

Have you ever been sitting in the house, and out of the corner of your eye, you spot something moving along the skirting board? Or maybe you’re lying in bed and you hear some scraping and scratching, the patter of teeny tiny feet in the attic. When you have a mouse on the loose around the house, then you need to set a trap or two.

Lots of people have different ideas about what the best thing to put in the trap is - peanut butter, Mars bar, chocolate or whatever, you can tell me later what you use - but the idea is the same. There’s something sweet, something nice that attracts the mouse over, but as it enjoys the sweetie, it meets its maker.

Put yourself in the mouse’s shoes for a moment. It smells the tasty treat, it wants to enjoy it, but it actually brings about the death of it. Something nice leads to death. That’s the picture Proverbs paints of adultery. Look at 5:3. ‘For the lips of a forbidden woman drip honey, and her speech is smoother than oil, but in the end she is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword.’ Do you hear the contrast? Honey lips, sweet with smooth oily words; in the end bitter and sharp. Now it says there the forbidden woman; ladies, this could just as easily be the forbidden man.

We’re still in the early chapters of Proverbs, where Solomon is speaking to his son, passing on wisdom for life. He’s teaching and training his son how to live, what to do and what to not do. Over the course of three chapters Solomon addresses the issue of relationships and adultery, urging his son to stay away from the forbidden woman.

There is wisdom here for us, as we seek to live out God’s way, whether we are married or single. In a day when the crowds flock to read and now watch Fifty Shades of Grey; as TV adverts and programmes push the boundaries; we need to know what God’s wisdom says about relationships.

Here in Proverbs 5-7, it’s clear that God wants faithfulness in marriage and celibacy in singleness. The warnings come from the outset. We’ve already seen the sweet, smooth trap of the forbidden woman’s lips. But to follow her, to pursue her is to follow the path to Sheol, the place of the dead; rather than the path of life (5:5-6). It’s as if there’s a fork in the road, to life or death, like a T junction - you can only go one way. Because of that, Solomon warns his son to stay away from her. Don’t go near her!

Over in chapter 7, we have a worked out example of the dangers of heading over to her. From his window, Solomon watches and sees ‘a young man lacking sense.’ He goes along her road, he’s just passing by when she pounces. It’s as if he is overwhelmed that she wants him, kisses him, speaks to him. She is ready, her bed is ready, her husband is away on a long journey, there’s no danger, you won’t be caught, it’ll be fun, come on ahead... The seductive speech and smooth talk persuades and compels him. The Mars bar is enticing in the trap, but it’s a trap all the same.

Do you see the three pictures used - the ox to the slaughter as he follows her; the stag caught fast until the arrow pierces its liver; the bird in the snare. He doesn’t see what lies ahead. He’s caught up in the moment. And he’s well and truly caught. Chapter 6 (which we didn’t read) portays adultery as carrying fire next to your chest, or walking on hot coals. The danger is there.

Back in chapter 5, Solomon asks ‘Why should you be intoxicated, my son, with a forbidden woman and embrace the bosom of an adulteress?’ It’s a question that Solomon would have needed to ask himself. You see, for all his wisdom, for all his understanding, he himself was caught in the same trap. Dale Ralph Davis is an Old Testament lecturer. He called his commentary on 1 Kings ‘The Wisdom and The Folly’. In 1 Kings, we have the record of Solomon’s reign. God asks him what he would like, so Solomon asks for wisdom. He builds the temple, his palace, and everything is great. The Queen of Sheba comes to visit to hear his wisdom. Chapter 10 is the pinnacle, a record of his great wisdom, and prosperity. But the folly begins in 11:1 ‘Now King Solomon loved many foreign women, along with the daughter of Pharaoh... He had 700 wives, princesses, and 300 concubines. And his wives turned away his heart.’

Even wise Solomon fell into this trap. And Jesus heightens the command - to even look with lust is to commit adultery in the heart. The traps are set all around us. Virtually everywhere we look is a minefield. The papers, the TV, internet, as we walk around. Always before us are the paths to Sheol or to life. As 5:21 tells us, ‘For a man’s ways are before the eyes of the Lord, and he ponders all his paths.’ Every choice we make, the Lord sees, the Lord knows. Every step we take, towards the trap or away from it, the Lord is aware.

There’s a verse in 2 Timothy 2:22 where Paul warns about dangers, but doesn’t leave it there. He also promotes the better. ‘So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with all those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.’ Run away from the wrong (which Solomon has been telling us), but he also tells us what to pursue.

First, he puts it in picture form: ‘Drink water from your own cistern, flowing water from your own well...’ and then he gets to the idea itself: ‘Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth.’ Don’t be intoxicated by forbidden ones, be intoxicated by your wife or husband. The Song of Solomon is all about that deep love between husband and wife. There the images of love and the description of beauty is enlarged even more than the ‘lovely deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love’ we find here. As a preacher at a minister’s conference put it one time, why would I want a cheap and nasty Big Mac anywhere else when I can have steak and chips at home?

Now. some of you might be saying, well, that’s ok for those who are married. All of us, at some stage of our lives is single. Some of us end up being single again after marriage. What about us? The warnings remain. The senseless youth is single. But there is still a husband to delight in. The Bible makes it clear that every marriage, even the best, is really only temporary. The vow is ‘till death us do part.’ As Paul teaches in Ephesians, marriage is a picture of the relationship between Christ and his bride. That is the only marriage in heaven, when we will be joined with him for ever.

In that sense, each of us is called to delight in our husband, to take joy in our relationship with Jesus, and be faithful to him. He came to save us, by living the perfect life, including in his sexual purity, to take away our sins, to divert us from the path to Sheol and set us on the path of life. If the iniquities of the wicked have ensnared us, and the cords of our sin hold us fast; Jesus came to loose our chains, to free us - not for sin, but to live for him.

As Paul writes to the Corinthians - ‘You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.’ Each of us, single or married, belong to God, bought by him. By his grace, let’s be aware of the sweetness of the trap, and steer clear, as we live out his wisdom and walk in his ways.

This sermon was preached at the Wisdom for Life Lent Midweek Series in Aghavea Parish Church on Wednesday 25th February 2015.

Ash Wednesday Sermon: Proverbs 1: 1-7 The Beginning of Wisdom

If you've ever watched The Sound of Music, you'll remember the moment when Maria is teaching the children how to sing. The song goes on about do a deer, a female deer (and so on). But before they get to that, they first hear these lines: 'Let's start at the very beginning, a very good place to start, when you read you begin with ABC, when you sing you begin with Do-Re-Mi.' Before they start into intricate harmonies, they need to get the basics. By starting at the very beginning, they can then move on to everything else.

This Lent, we're going to learn from God's wisdom in the book of Proverbs. Over the course of the next few weeks, we'll see what God says about relationships, and work, and our use of the tongue, among other things. But before we get to those things, we need to start at the very beginning. Where does wisdom begin? What are the baby steps of being wise?

Most of the book of Proverbs are stand alone two-liners. They're collected together, and it's hard to see any rhyme or reason to their order. Some are by Solomon, some are by Lemuel, Agur, and others. It's a bit like a box of sweeties - you don't know what you'll get, the topics and themes vary, and you'll find something to catch your eye and chew over.

But the start of Proverbs is a sustained discussion. Chapters 1-9 are the words of instruction and teaching passed on from a father to his son. So, for example, in our second reading, we had the opening words 'My son, do not forget my teaching...' Solomon is teaching his son, training him for life, praising wisdom and warning against folly. But even before that, we get the purpose of the book of Proverbs. Here's what it's all about. It's all about wisdom, instruction, understanding, prudence, and guidance.

Everyone is in view. The simple in verse 4, and the youth. The wise are there as well in verse 5, so whatever you think of yourself; whatever others think of you; you are begin addressed. Here is wisdom to make you wiser, to grow in knowledge and insight. The school is open, if you will but listen. The Further Education Colleges are promoting life long learning, with courses to suit all tastes and personalities. Well here, Solomon is interested in lifelong learning. Whoever wants can come and listen and learn. But how are we going to do this? How can we start out in wisdom?

The whole introduction drives to its main point in verse 7: 'The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction.' Knowledge begins with the fear of the Lord - and, as we heard at the start of the service 9:10 also says that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge and wisdom. Now when we hear those words, we maybe think of a shrinking back, fearful terror, the way some people are afraid of spiders or the dark or clowns (true story!). But when the Bible talks about 'the fear of the Lord' it's more an honouring, respecting, giving God his due place and glory.

Recently Stephen Fry has been making headlines for an interview he gave to Gay Byrne for an RTE programme broadcast a couple of weeks ago. In it he describes God as being 'an evil, capricious, monstrous maniac.' Fry is a celebrity intellectual, famous for his TV programme QI, in which he display his superior intelligence. Yet Solomon says that Stephen Fry hasn't even started in true wisdom, he hasn't got going with true knowledge. For all his brains, he actually despises wisdom and instruction from God.

As we launch into this time of Lent; as we listen in to God's wisdom, we're challenged straight away by the attitude of our heart. Will we bow before him in fear and awe? Or will we carry on, thinking we can become wise by ourselves, isolated from God?

The fear of the Lord is pictured in what may be the most famous verses from Proverbs. They were quoted to us at our wedding, and maybe even as yours as well. 'Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.' (Prov 3:5-6). Do you see how that fits with true wisdom? Bowing before the Lord, not leaning on your own understanding, acknowledging and depending on him displays this fear and respect.

Otherwise we're like the little child who wants to do everything for theirselves, only to realise after the mess has been made that they can't actually do it right. So often we can set out, we think we have all the answers, but then discover that things aren't as straightforward as they first appeared. When we get to that point, will we keep going, getting more and more tangled up, or will we confess our weakness, our folly, and turn to God for his wisdom?

Perhaps you're facing a situation at the moment. You're not sure where to turn or what to do. Solomon urges us to seek wisdom - not just any worldly wisdom, but God's wisdom. Turn to the creator, to the one who made us and knows us better than we know ourselves. Fear him, by bowing before him, and discover true wisdom - God's wisdom. That's the encouragement James, the brother of Jesus gives us in that last reading. If you lack wisdom, ask God, and he will generously give it.

Over the next few weeks, let's dive in to God's wisdom. There are 40 days in Lent, and 31 chapters of Proverbs, so even one chapter per day (with some days to catch up!) will get us through it this Lent. Let's bring ourselves to God, ask him to teach us, and discover his wisdom for life. Let's pray.

This sermon was preached at the Ash Wednesday Service in Aghavea Parish Church on 18th February 2015.

Happenstance

I just happened to bump into so-and-so. Just by chance I called into the butchers. Coincidences, random happenings, chance encounters. What is it you think of when these things happen to you? You might imagine it's the randomness of a random universe. Nothing special or amazing.

We find such an event in Ruth chapter 2. Ruth and her mother-in-law Naomi are both widows with no means of support. So Ruth decides to go and glean, to pick up the leavings of the harvest, to survive. Of all the fields around Bethlehem, we read:

'She happened to come to the part of the field belonging to Boaz, who was of the clan of Elimelech.' (Ruth 2:3 ESV)

Or as other versions say it: 'As it turned out, she found herself working in a field belonging to Boaz' (NIV); 'she chanced to light on an allotment of Boaz' (Darby); 'and her chance happeneth' (Young's Literal); 'It just so happened' (New Century Version); and my favourite: 'and her hap was to light on a part of the field belonging unto Boaz' (The Authorised Version / King James Version).

To quote a famous line from the movie Casablanca: 'Of all the bars in all the world, she had to walk into mine.' Or perhaps as Boaz would have said, 'Of all the fields around Bethlehem, she had to glean in mine.'

The purpose of these words is clear. This was not just a random chance. Rather, God was in sovereign control to order these events so that Ruth finds herself in her worthy relative's field. The stage is now set for the romance of redemption, which eventually provides Israel with the Davidic line of kings, and ultimately results in the King of Kings, the Lord Jesus.

When we see coincidences, do we take them at face value as pure random chance, or do we look behind them to see the Lord ordering our steps?

'The heart of man plans his way, but the LORD establishes his steps.' (Proverbs 16:9)

Dancing the Cure to Drunkenness? Lady GaGa's Just Dance

It's always interesting to see the hidden or not-so-hidden messages being played out in our culture. Along with the catchy music, what is actually being said? A case in point is the latest single from Lady GaGa, 'Just Dance.' It looks to be heading towards the UK Number One spot on Sunday, but what is it all about?



The song opens with a depressing and sad picture. Lady GaGa confesses that she's had 'a little bit too much, much'. Alcohol seems to be the word she can't say. As the people start to rush by, she realises she can't find a drink (maybe a good thing), but has also lost her keys and her phone. Quite a predicament. Will she get friends to help her find the missing items? Will she take some time to recover?

I've had a little bit too much, much
All of the people start to rush, start to rush by
How does he twist the dance? Can't find a drink, oh man
Where are my keys? I lost my phone, phone

Nope. Instead, her situation is getting worse. Now she can't see straight any more, and can't remember the name of the club she is frequenting. And what is the solution in the lyrics?

What's going on on the floor?
I love this record baby but I can't see straight anymore
Keep it cool, what's the name of this club?
I can't remember but it's alright, a-alright

CHORUS: Just dance, gonna be okay, da da doo-doo-mmm
Just dance, spin that record babe, da da doo-doo-mmm
Just dance, gonna be okay, d-d-d-dance
Dance, dance, just, j-j-just dance

Dancing is the cure to drunkenness, it would seem. Surely with the government seeking to prevent teen alcoholism and the problems of drunkenness, then songs like this do not help the situation? What message does this send out to the nation as a whole? That it's fine if you are so drunk you can't see straight, so long as you can keep dancing?

Oh how we need to heed the instruction of the Lord: 'Wine is a mocker, strong drink a brawler, and whoever is led astray by it is not wise.' (Proverbs 20:1). I'm not anti-drink, but I am anti-drunkenness. Indeed, as Paul the apostle writes, 'Do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit.' (Ephesians 5:18)

Calling for redemption - A sermon preached in Annalong on Sunday 29 July 2007. Ruth 3:1-18

Have you ever had a midnight encounter? Maybe you were walking down the road at night, and you saw someone approaching, but didn’t know who they were. How did you feel?

I remember well one midnight encounter – maybe about ten years ago. We were at Boys Brigade camp, and I was in my tent with six other fellas. The officers were trying to quiet us down for the night, but the other fellas in my tent were a bit rowdy. We could see the shadow of an officer on the wall of the tent, and one of the boys shouted out: ‘Ah, it must be Robert, look at the big nose on him!’ Needless to say that it wasn’t Robert; it was the chaplain of the camp, and we all had to report to him the next morning at 6am for duty!

In our reading this morning, we come across a midnight encounter. Boaz is at his threshing floor – the harvest has been gathered in and is now being threshed, and he is in high spirits. After an evening of feasting and drinking to celebrate the harvest, he goes to lie down at the far end of the grain pile. All is well with him as he starts to sleep.

But in the middle of the night, he wakes up, startled by something. And look what he finds, lying at his feet – a woman! Who is it, or what’s happening? Can you imagine the shock of finding someone lying at your feet? So he asks ‘who are you’.

Having read the passage earlier, we know that it’s Ruth. Look at verse 9, to see how she responds. ‘I am your servant Ruth. Spread the corner of your garment over me, since you are a kinsman-redeemer.’

You might be wondering what a kinsman-redeemer is, and we’ll find out as we look at the passage as a whole. We’ll see what she’s doing there; what she asks for; and how Boaz responds.

Firstly, what Ruth is doing there. You might remember from last week that Ruth is the daughter-in-law of Naomi. Naomi and her husband left Bethlehem and went to Moab during a famine, and her husband died. Then her two sons married Moabite women, and the sons died. Orpah, one of the daughters-in-law went back home, but Ruth stayed with Naomi when she came back to Bethlehem.

In chapter two we found Ruth gleaning in the fields of Boaz, because she was poor, and needed to eat. It was legal for the poor and the foreigner to follow the harvesters and glean what was left behind. And it was there that Boaz met Ruth for the first time, offering her protection in the field, and granting her favour (or grace).

So now, coming near the end of the harvest, Naomi takes the initiative in trying to find a home for her, or as the margin puts it, ‘find rest.’ As I’ve said last week, family ties were very important at this time, especially in the inheritance of land. You see, when the people entered the land of Israel, it was divided up among their tribes and clans. Those inheritances could not be changed, but were passed down through the families.

But, as sometimes happened, there were problems. What if someone couldn’t afford to hold the land and sold some of it? Surely the land would be lost to the clan?

The Law provided for such situations. Over in Leviticus 25 we find a series of laws about the year of jubilee and about redemption. The year of Jubilee was to be held every fifty years, and any land which had been sold would be returned to the original owner again. However, if you had the means, you could ‘redeem’ the land. That simply means to buy back the land that had been sold in the first place.

So, for example, Leviticus 25:25 reads: ‘If one of your countrymen becomes poor and sells some of his property, his nearest relative is to come and redeem what his countryman has sold.’

For Naomi and Ruth, though, the situation was more complicated, due to not having any sons. Normally, if the eldest son died, then the second son would marry the wife of the first in order to provide an heir for his brother. This was the reason the Sadducees had come with their ‘problem’ to Jesus about the seven brothers who died without a son, and which man would the wife be married to at the resurrection. But there are no more brothers in the family.

For the inheritance to be passed on, it would take a kinsman-redeemer (‘go-el’ in Hebrew). This would be a male family relative – perhaps an uncle or cousin, who would step in and redeem the land. So in verse 2, Naomi has identified Boaz as one of the kinsman-redeemers, and she send Ruth to him at night, at the threshing floor to make her appeal.

So after Boaz lies down, Ruth takes up her position, uncovering his feet and lying at them, in the position of the servant. It is in this position that Boaz finds her as he is wakened from sleep. And it is from this position that Ruth makes her appeal.

‘Spread the corner of your garment over me, since you are a kinsman-redeemer.’ Can you see what she’s saying here? You know that I’m in need Boaz – not just in terms of my poverty and my need; but also for the good of the family lands – spread the corner of your garment over me! It is a request for protection, for cover, for warmth. Ruth acknowledges her poverty to Boaz, confesses her need, and appeals for Boaz to act for her.

Next, we see how Boaz responds. In chapter two we noted that Boaz was ‘a man of standing’ – a worthy man. Once again we see the worthy man in action, as he cares for Ruth, and expresses his admiration for her. Notice in verse 10 that he identifies her kindness (a recurring theme in the book of Ruth) – her kindness in not running after younger men, but rather fixing her attention on him (do we get a hint here that he is an older man?).

In addition to her kindness, he highlights the fact that she is seen by the local community as ‘a woman of noble character.’ Just as Boaz is a worthy man, so Ruth is a woman of noble character. It has been said that in some of the Hebrew canon of scripture, Ruth comes immediately after Proverbs, because Ruth is a living example of the ‘woman of noble character’ from Proverbs 31: ‘a wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of good value.’ (Prov 31:10-11)

Yet as he has mentioned the other men – other potential suitors, he is building her up to the sad news that he is not the nearest kinsman-redeemer. There were strict procedures to be followed, with an order of nearness in effect. The other relative will have first refusal.

Even with the possibility of losing Ruth to the other kinsman-redeemer, he is still the worthy man, pouring out the grace and favour we have already seen of him. Look at verse 14. In order to avoid any scandal, he ensures that she has gone home by morning, and will not let it be said that there was a woman at the threshing floor. This is as much for Ruth’s reputation as for his own.

But as he sends her away, we see the great generosity again. Verse 15 – he pours out 6 measures of barley for her to take back to Naomi, so that, as he tells Ruth (verse 17) ‘Don’t go back to your mother-in-law empty-handed.’ Do you remember that word empty? Where have we encountered it before? As Naomi returned to Bethlehem at the end of chapter one, she complained that ‘the LORD has brought me back empty.’ (1:21) It has been said that the book of Ruth is the reversal of Naomi’s emptiness, and again, we see it here, in the picture of God’s grace through Boaz.

So we have seen that Ruth is in trouble, in need, and appeals for help to her kinsman-redeemer, to Boaz. Can you see the parallels with our situation? Have you cried out to your kinsman-redeemer?

You know the need that we have. Ruth was in need because the family land had been sold, and she was in poverty. But our need is all that much greater, because we have sold ourselves. We’ve sold ourselves to the devil, and given up our birthrights. When Adam and Eve believed the lie of the serpent, they were removed from the garden and lost their status as friends of God.

And we, their children, continue to follow in their footsteps. Oh, people try to say that humanity is getting better all the time, but really, despite the advancement in technology and healthcare and science, we are still poor towards God. Science and wealth has blinded us to our poverty, as we consider ourselves to be rich.

Think of the words of the Lord Jesus to the church in Laodicea. ‘You say, “I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.” But you do not realise that you are wretched, pitiful, poor blind and naked.’ (Revelation 3:17)

Now do you see our need? So who is our kinsman-redeemer? None other than the Lord Jesus. He it was who intervened to rescue us; to redeem us. He gave of himself so that we might gain the inheritance of the Father. He died so that we might be received into the family of God. This is the picture the New Testament provides for us, as it speaks of Jesus as redeeming us.

Jesus it was, ‘who gave himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for himself a people that are his very own, eager to do what is good.’ (Titus 2:14) Also, Peter writes ‘For you know that it was not with perishable things such as silver of gold that you were redeemed from the empty way of life handed down to you from your fore-fathers, but with the precious blood of Christ, a lamb without blemish or defect.’ (1 Peter 1:18-19).

On the cross, Jesus did the work of redemption – paying the price so that we could be forgiven and bought back from sin. He did it because of his amazing grace, to bring our pardon and redeem us. Yet we need to cry out to him to save us.

We need to acknowledge our need, and confess that we can’t do it on our own. We need him to save us. Can you echo those words of Ruth, and make them your own?

‘I am your servant. Spread the corner of your garment over me, since you are a kinsman-redeemer.’