Book Review: It's Not What You Think

My earliest memories of Chris Evans are from the school mornings when mum was going out to work before 8am and we spent almost an hour or so over in granny's house before walking round to school. On the TV, we discovered a most colourful, bright and breezy programme, entitled The Big Breakfast, presented by Chris Evans and Gaby Roslin.

Fast forward a few years and Chris was appearing in another completely zany programme (also on Channel 4) called Don't Forget Your Toothbrush where one contestant would depart at the end of the show on a holiday, based on a number of crazy games and challenges. A while later, and there he was back again, in a music and chat programme called TFI Friday.

And then, I hadn't heard tell of him for a while. He had seemingly disappeared from the TV, and was working hard on radio - Virgin and BBC Radio 2 (but only really listening to Northern Irish based stations Cool FM or Radio Ulster, I didn't hear him). More recently he has popped back on TV, presenting the Friday edition of The One Show on BBC 1.

That little diversion was to show that Chris Evans was always there or thereabouts in the background of my growing up. So it was very interesting to read how he got to that place in the first installment of his autobiography, entitled It's Not What You Think. He got that right!

On opening the book (I read it on my Kindle), you're confronted with the contents page - a series of top tens. It's through these amusing and revealing top ten lists that Chris tells his story: 'Dear Reader, for the purposes of bespoke compartmentalisation during the course of this book, where Dickens went for episodes, Shakespeare went for stanzas and the Good Lord himself for chapter and verse, being a DJ I have gone for Top 10s. If it were good enough for Moses and his Commandments, it should be good enough for my book.'

As he summarises his journey to where he was (up and down and up again), he asks how it all turned out: 'For years, as the song went, I did it my way; for years I thought I was bomb-proof; for years I was just plain lucky when I thought I was being a wise guy. Of course I got things wrong from time to time, but I put that down to being part of life's rich tapestry - after all, few of us set out to get things wrong on purpose.'

'Was there a plan? Not that I'm aware of, but then again I suppose there must have been - surely a story like this couldn't occur by chance? Or maybe that's what life is: just one big accident from start to finish and what comes round there corner to his us depends on which road we're on at the time.' He continues to ponder life: 'I am constantly intrigued by this existence of ours and why we are here at all in the first place and therefore, as a result, I am fascinated as to just how far we can take things before we are asked to leave.'

It's interesting that he ponders life, wonders about the meaning of our existence, and even tantalisingly mentions God every so often (in almost joky ways) without making the connection that God is the reason for our existence. Again: 'As far as I can see, life is one big bank account and the best philosophy is just to keep on making deposits whenever you can; be they financial, emotional, occupational, or otherwise. This is the absolute number one way to reduce the risk of disappointment, unhappiness, poverty and loneliness. By rights, I'm not at all sure I should even still be here to tell my tale, but by the grace of God I am, so here goes.'

There are stories of growing up, of his schooling - first at an all boys school until he has to change schools unexpectedly ('When I woke up that morning I had no idea that by the end of the day.... I would now need to find a new school...'), first relationships, and family life. He's open about his dad dying young after a terribly drawn out illness:

'First of all let me apologise for using the term 'early death' as I'm not quite sure whether that's right, it's just something we've always said about Dad. None of us know when we are supposed to die in the first place; therefore how can anyone's passing really be declared 'early'. Surely we are all meant to die when we do die and that's why it happens when it does. The reason I suppose we refer to Dad's death as being early is because he was relatively young, still in his fifties, when he was plucked out for promotion to that higher office in the sky.'

'Dad's disease and everything that came with us continued to happen but now with more frequency and for longer. The sooner any human being is spared the indignity of such a living hell the better - I don't care what anyone says.'

Back to the theme of religion again, as he discusses temptation: 'The Bible may be dodgy in all sorts of other areas but it's pretty much bang on the money when it comes to explaining the evil that is temptation and the devastation it can cause. The destruction of peoples, nations and in this case, as far as I was concerned, the most beautiful love affair the world had ever seen. The apple is there - don't eat the apple. But more importantly don't even think about eating the apple. Basically, just forget apples exist and preferably as quickly as possible. The infection with temptation is perpetuated by the dreaded 'thought'.' While I wouldn't rate him as a theologian - after all, if the Bible is right on this, then it should also be right on overcoming temptation and the remedy for sin - he's probably spot on as he reflects on his infidelity to his school sweetheart.

Still at school, and facing a dreaded fight with another pupil at the end of the school day, Chris turns to God: 'I decided it was time for a prayer.' Through the course of the day, a mishap occurs, leading Chris to think: 'My fingers are obviously broken. There must be a hospital trip in this. It might even be an ambulance job. Hurrah, thank you God, let me know how much I owe you.'

Is God only there in the desperate times of emergency to get him out of a quick fix?

There's also some spiritual advice included from the Dalai Lama and being prepared in advance for a peaceful death...

He's interesting as he describes his journey into radio work, getting his first break by watching Timmy Mallet in action on a Piccadilly Radio (Manchester) outside broadcast and blagging his way into assisting on his programme. There's a moment of realisation: 'Since working in radio I have discovered that the 'on-air turns' have a real dilemma with their self-image: they've spent so many years cultivating their on-air persona they've left their real personality behind.'

Chris' quirky nature comes through as he makes up words, including lowerarchy and bottleable. You'll have to read the book to find the context of those new words! Along the way, Chris tells some funny stories of his time at Piccadilly Radio, Channel Four on the Big Breakfast, Don't Forget Your Toothbrush and TFI Friday, and his time on BBC Radio 1. There's a cast of characters including his love interests, as well as Zig and Zag, Gaby Roslin, Paula Yates, Concorde, Richard Branson, John Cleese, Danny Baker, and many, many more.

The cliffhanger ending comes as he raises the funding to buy out Virgin Radio and launch it as his own project. Will he secure it? How will it go if he does? Book Two will hopefully answer the danging questions!

As an epilogue, there quite a nice touch as some of those characters mentioned along the way get their own back as they contribute a little bit about Chris. At times it was a little cheesy - they're obviously singing his praises - but at least it's not just his story and his side presented.

If you're a child of the 80s and spent the 1990s watching Chris Evans, you too might enjoy this book as you discover how he did all that stuff, and how he got there. It's definitely not what you think! You can get it for Kindle or real book.

Sermon: Psalm 24 The King of Glory

I wonder if you’ve ever played ‘Guess Who’. When we were growing up, it was one of my favourite games. You start with a group of very interesting and different people with all sorts of hair colours and styles (or none!), some with glasses, some with hats, some men, some women, but you’re trying to narrow it down to find who is the right answer - the person your wee brother has on his card. At the start, any of them could be the one, but all of them gradually fall away, leaving the last man (or woman!) standing.

In Guess Who, you have a field of 24 to start with. Think of Britain’s Got Talent which has thousands of entries, some of whom quickly get those three X’s, and others who eventually get eliminated by the public votes. In a few weeks time the winner will be crowned, and they’ll be practicing to perform in front of the Queen. Many hopefuls, lots of potential, but just one who will be the victor.

In the Psalm we’re looking at this morning, Psalm 24, we find a similar kind of knock out happening. As it was being read, you might have noticed that several times there was a question being asked. Both those questions (one of which is repeated) begins with the same word: Who. Look at verse 3: ‘Who’; and then verse 8: ‘Who’. In our time this morning we’re going to think about these two who’s, as we see who is truly worthy to be worshipped and praised.

So let’s look at the first question, as we find it in verse 3. ‘Who shall ascend the hill of the LORD? And who shall stand in his holy place?’ Who is it who can come close to God? Who can survive if they come to God in his holiness?

Just as we saw with Guess Who and with Britain’s Got Talent, we’re given a glimpse of the hopefuls standing in the queue hoping to prove their worth. There aren’t any overhead cameras swooping over the crowd, but there is that declaration in verses 1 and 2: ‘The earth is the LORD’s and the fullness thereof, the world and those who dwell therein.’ The LORD made everything, every single person who is alive now, or who ever lived, or will ever live.

There are almost 7 billion of us alive now, many of us trying to be religious, searching for God, trying to work ourselves good enough for him - if I just come to church enough, if I light that candle, if I reverence my ancestors, if I submit to Allah or die on jihad, if I meditate so I lose myself - whatever it might be, trying to prove ourselves to God.

Look around the world today. There are many who would point to good people, supposedly holy people, and think that they must be good enough for God, good enough to stand in God’s holy place. Maybe the Pope (or Ian Paisley). Perhaps the Dalai Lama. Or Buddhist monks. We might not make it, but surely they would be good enough?

Let’s see what God says is his standard for coming into his presence: ‘He who has clean hands and a pure heart, who does not lift up his soul to what is false and does not swear deceitfully.’

I don’t know if you’ve been in hospital recently, but they’re getting particularly strict on having clean hands. Before you go on the ward, there’s the alcohol hand gel to make sure you don’t bring any germs in; if you’re going from one patient to another you have to wash your hands in between; and when you’re leaving, another squirt to make sure you don’t take any germs home. It’s essential to stop the spread of infections, to make sure sick people don’t get sicker or have more things wrong. So when we hear of clean hands you might think that you’re doing ok. You wash your hands after visiting the toilet, before you prepare food. But it’s more than that. Are your hands really clean? Are your actions always good, or have you done wrong things?

It can be easy for us to look good to others. Having clean hands is easy on a Sunday when we gather together in our Sunday best, looking respectable and presentable. We might fool others, we might even fool ourselves some times, but don’t congratulate yourself too quickly.

Clean hands, yes, but also a pure heart is required to approach God. He sees us to our core, to the deepest, darkest places of our lives, and demands purity of heart - are my motives pure (or do I volunteer to be seen and commended by others?)? Just like those Guess Who characters, we fall because we’re not right. Like those TV talent show would be’s, we don’t make it.

The standard is just too high. It’s not just purity on Sunday mornings and Wednesday evenings at Fellowship Group - it’s purity all the time. I know I’m out. I’m fairly sure about you too, and the pope, the Dalai Lama and every other person living on the planet today. None of us can approach God in our own power.

It almost doesn’t seem worth it to know what comes next, does it? Do you remember the TV show Bullseye? If the contestants didn’t win the mystery star prize, Jim Bowen would say ‘have a look at what you would have won.’ It’s almost a bit like that in verse 5-6 - there is blessing and righteousness for the one who can approach the LORD.

So is it all over? We’ve been brought low and left outside? No prospect, no hope? Sorry, you have not been successful in your application? Well, there’s still another question. Another guess who, if you like. It’s as if the trumpets are sounding, the call goes out to ‘lift up your heads, o gates! And be lifted up, o ancient doors’ because someone special is coming.

In recent days we’ve seen some important visitors coming to Dublin, first the Queen, and then President Barak Obama - but unlike the President’s car getting stuck, the procession is coming, the king of glory is on his way. There is one who is worthy, one who meets the standard, one who has clean hands and a pure heart.

And that question: ‘Who is this King of glory?’ The LORD, strong and mighty, the LORD, mighty in battle! ... The LORD of hosts (of armies), he is the King of glory!’

If you notice the very top of the Psalm, in the small capital letters, it tells us it is ‘A PSALM OF DAVID’ . David the king sings of a great triumphal entry by the King of glory, but he isn’t talking about himself, he’s pointing to the King of glory, to God himself who arrives in victory. He may have been singing about the bringing of the ark of the covenant to Jerusalem - the ark containing the stone tablets of the Ten Commandments, which symbolised God’s presence with his people as they came from Sinai to the promised land. But we see how this psalm enlarges our vision and points beyond itself to the great victory of the King of glory.

Having been crucified, and buried, Jesus was raised from the dead, and ascended into heaven to sit at the right hand of the Father. Our Psalm points us to someone greater than the right character in Guess Who, much more important than the winner of Britain’s Got Talent, points us to the King of glory, the Lord Jesus Christ who enters heaven in triumph to receive honour and blessing and righteousness from the Father. The Jesus who offers us a share in his Kingdom, who offers us his blessings. The conquering king has triumphed (in the words of Revelation): ‘for you were slain, and by your blood you ransomed people for God from every tribe and language and people and nation, and you have made them a kingdom and priests to our God, and they shall reign on the earth.’ (Rev 5:9-10)

Jesus died, gave his perfect life in perfect obedience, in order to ‘forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness’ (1 John 1:9) - to clean our dirty hands and purify our impure hearts, so that our sins are gone. Through Jesus, we can enter the holy place with confidence, we can be sure of heaven - not through our achievements, but through his work on the cross for us.

I don’t know if you’ve ever seen the final of X Factor (to change the TV programme). At some point during the evening a group of the biggest no-hopers and dreadful singers will come on stage and murder a classic song to give everyone a laugh. Then the real business of choosing the winner carries on. Imagine, though, if the winner was to announce that everyone was going to share in their winnings - not just the second placed contestant, but also the desperately out of tune no-hoper. Now we’re getting closer to what the Lord Jesus has done for us.

He has won, he has conquered, he has satisfied the entrance requirement. And most amazingly and wonderfully, he allows us to share in his kingdom, by taking away our sins, and inviting us in with him.

Who shall ascend the hill of the Lord? Who shall stand in his holy place? Perhaps you need to be reminded of your sin, perhaps open, like dirty hands, or maybe hidden, an impure heart - you can’t win or work for your own salvation.

Who is this King of glory? The Lord of hosts, strong and mighty, the one who has conquered. Jesus, our Lord has fulfilled the law, has removed the curse, and offers us cleansing from our sins. Will you come to him today?

‘Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.’ (Phil 2:9-11) Just as Trevor said last week: open the door, swing wide the gates, and welcome the King of glory in.

This sermon was preached in St Elizabeth's Church, Dundonald on Sunday 29th May 2011.

Water Birth

Last night, we watched an amazing True Stories programme on More4. Dolphin Boy told the story of a boy called Morad who suffered a terrible attack and brutal torture. As a result of the traumatic nature of the attack, he completely disconnected himself from reality - no speaking, no interaction, in effect he was dead.

After several unsuccessful treatments, he was taken to a centre in Eilat, Israel, which specialises in Dolphin treatment. Four times a week, he went swimming with dolphins, interacting with them, so that after four months or so, he was coming back to himself again, speaking, interacting and so on.

What struck me, though, was how his transformation was described. His psychologist says to him in the film: It's as if you were born at the age of 18.

In his own words, One day I opened my eyes, and I found myself in the reed, surrounded by dolphins. This was the first day of my life.

What a great picture of the gospel - as a result of sin, he was, in effect, dead, a dead man walking. He couldn't help himself, couldn't bring himself out of it. But one day, he was born anew, born again, and became a new person.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. (2 Corinthians 5:17)

Dolphin Boy is available on 4oD for the next 29 days.

The Baby Swap

The current storyline in Eastenders has generated a lot of controversy. Following the birth of two baby boys around Christmas, and the sudden cot death of her baby, Ronnie Branning swapped her dead baby for the son of Alfie and Kat Moon. The consequences have been compelling viewing - the sense of terrible grief and regret on the part of Kat towards her 'dead' baby; the ongoing effect on Ronnie; and the rising tension of the inevitable realisation of what has happened.

There have been lots of negative comments on how grieving parents are portrayed, with the suggestion that anyone in that position would seek to swap children and put others into the place of grief. It must be remembered, though, that Eastenders isn't real life - it's a long-running TV soap opera, which needs ongoing shocking stories to draw in and keep viewers.

However, I've been reminded of the original baby swap story, as found in 1 Kings 3. Two prostitutes, each with a child, have been caught up in a real life drama. One of the children has died in the night, and the grieving mother swaps her dead child for the live one. The mother of the live child realises what has happened, and brings her case to the King, Solomon.

Earlier in the chapter, we see how the young ruler asks God for wisdom to rule wisely, and here in his judgement we see that wisdom in action:

And the king said, "Bring me a sword." So a sword was brought before the king. And the king said, "Divide the living child in two, and give half to the one and half to the other." Then the woman whose son was alive said to the king, because her heart yearned for her son, "Oh, my lord, give her the living child, and by no means put him to death." But the other said, "He shall be neither mine nor yours; divide him." Then the king answered and said, "Give the living child to the first woman, and by no means put him to death; she is his mother." And all Israel heard of the judgment that the king had rendered, and they stood in awe of the king, because they perceived that the wisdom of God was in him to do justice. (1 Kings 3:24-28)

At this stage we don't know how things will turn out in Eastenders. Perhaps the writers and director of the show need the wisdom of Solomon to deal with such a controversial subject. It's probably good that it is being raised in the public domain, yet the sudden death of one so young can leave more questions than answers.

No News Is...

...good news, except if you're the BBC. Most of their journalists and newsreaders are on strike today in a dispute over pensions, meaning their news programmes and online news is on a skeleton staff, and being poorly updated.

Locally, in Northern Ireland, the BBC NI news website is normally fairly good for being up to date, but today, it hasn't changed since last night. What a chance for UTV to pick up some more viewers/listeners/readers for their news coverage. If only the UTV news website offered a mobile version which was easier to view on an iPhone...

The Early Church and The Stig

Our Harvest weekend has now finished, and we'll probably be thinking and planning for Christmas services before long. Before Harvest completely disappears from our memory, I wanted to share a few resources from the weekend with you.

Our special guest over the weekend was Bishop Wallace Benn, the Bishop of Lewes on the south coast of England. On Saturday, he taught on the Early Church and its Growth: a study from Acts, which is the basis of a new book soon to be published. The book will be excellent, based on the material he presented and preached on Saturday. You can listen in, as the mp3s are available from the first two sessions of the day over at the St Elizabeth's sermon blog: Session 1; Session 2. Sadly the third session didn't record - blame the idiot curate and his technology!

You might have read the title and wondered how a racing driver fits in with the early church. On the Friday night, Bishop Wallace let slip that he had been on a well known driving programme, and thanks to the wonders of YouTube and the internet, we tracked it down and showed it on Saturday. This is the edited highlights of Wallace's appearance. Enjoy!

Lifestyle Choices

Yesterday as I was having my lunch, I caught a few minutes of TV. Trying to avoid those Loose Women (who terrify me!), I flicked through the Freeview schedule, and saw the last minutes of My Wife and Kids. The programme ended, and up popped on the screen a little funny caption from the station - Virgin 1. Earlier, it had said 'Don't move' and then after a few ads, 'You're still there.' But this one was perhaps the most honest - perhaps even too honest:

Now three minutes of lifestyle choices.

The advertisements on the channel are portrayed as lifestyle choices. Things like a new phone, a holiday, car insurance, just lifestyle choices. But all pushing in one direction - towards materialism. For the TV channel and its advertisers, really there's no choice in lifestyle - everyone should be pushing for materialism. The only choice is which car to drive or which phone to use.

Lifestyle choices, but biased towards more complicated, more expensive, more extravagant living. Surely for a choice they should also show ads promoting a simpler life, service of others, reducing consumption. But then they don't make a profit.

So will we buy the advertisers lies that the only lifestyle choice is for materialism? Other lifestyles are available. Don't be bought and sold for a lie.

Giving God the Glory

This morning I caught about one minute of BBC 1's food programme, Saturday Kitchen. A great moment to see though, as celebrity chef James Martin was demonstrating how to cook a particular kind of fish (I didn't catch which it was - possibly Turbot or another flat fish). James made mention of the clever markings of the fish - black on one side and white on the other so that it can be disguised / camouflaged and escape predators. The celebrity guest, Lenora Crichlow, said that it was a genius fish, to which James replied that God was the genius for creating it like that.

Truly giving God the glory for the wonders of his creation! Well done James.

Scoffing and the Second Coming

I've been thinking quite a bit about the return of the Lord Jesus quite a bit over the last few weeks. Another convergence, between my sermon workshop at the Preaching Conference on 2 Peter 3:8, our sermon series on Sunday evenings where this week we'll think about those who are asleep when Jesus returns, and next week we'll think about the day of the Lord from 1 Thessalonians 4-5.

Then James Cary blogged about part of last week's QI comedy quiz show. I've never really sat down to watch it, but occasionally catch wee bits of it. The discussion centred on the Great Disappointment of 1844, when over one million people expected Jesus to return on a specific day. Needless to say he didn't, and the panellists were very witty as well as incredulous about those silly Christians.

As James says, the tone of the discussion is fascinating - that anyone could believe that Jesus will return. Just like the scoffers if 2 Peter 3:4 asking where is this promise of his coming? I think it's fair to take the hand out of Christians or nutters who try to come up with a specific date and time - Jesus said that he would come like a thief in the night, that timing predictions aren't helpful and only distract us from our primary call to evangelism.

An interesting insight into the secular mind, which sees the promises of God as nothing. Even so, come Lord Jesus!

X-Factor at Xmas: Who's Got Your Vote?

So it's the final weekend of X Factor 2009 (or as Dermot mistakenly said in one of the links from the adverts "Welcome back to the X Factor 2008 Final!"). Stacey has been eliminated and just two acts remain: Olly Murs and Joe Mcelderry. Who will win? As UTV ask: Who are U voting for?

In the press, blogs and Facebook updates (particularly from William Crawley) there is plenty of discussion surrounding who has the X Factor. Whether it be their singing ability (or lack of, in the case of Jedward), their looks, their dancing, their entertainment potential, their flexibility or whatever, do they have the X Factor? I think Joe will win, but we'll see tomorrow night.

The X Factor raises lots of discussion. That X is the all important factor, the element that makes it all worthwhile. The thing that distinguishes the haves from the hasbeens. Reminds me of another X which causes discussion.

There is always a big fuss about people referring to Xmas. We need to keep Christ in Christmas, we're told, and so Facebook protest groups abound, and letters to the press. But did you know that Jesus is still in Xmas? In fact, it may even have been Christians who first used the shortened version, using the X or Chi, the first letter of Christos (Christ in Greek). So Xmas is still Christmas.

The X is a reminder of the Christ at the heart of Christmas, without whom there wouldn't even be a Christmas to celebrate. The X reminds us that, rather than the X Factor, Jesus has the Christ factor, God's Son, God's promised King. This is what separates and distinguishes Jesus from any other religious figure, the thing that makes it all worthwhile.

Jesus, the Saviour of the world is born, to grow up and die to save his people, freely offering God's grace to all who will receive it. The one whom crowds flock to hear preaching, who heals the sick and raises the dead to life. The one who dies that we might live. That's the real Xtra Factor, the X Factor at the heart of Xmas. So Merry Christmas, one and all!

Adbusting: A 'Very' Expensive Christmas

Have you seen the adverts for the latest online department store? Fearne Cotton and Holly Willoughby feature in it, throwing in the word 'very' very often in the dialogue, as a bunch of ice skaters dance around and then arrange furniture on a frozen lake, before the name of the store is revealed: Very.co.uk.



What's very concerning, though, is that it could turn out to be a very expensive Christmas if you do your shopping on the website, using their credit services. Their typical APR is 39.7% variable, which is very bad on its own, but in the smaller print under this very big figure, the conditions state that: The actual APR applicable to you may be different from the typical APR based on your credit status. (bold original to website)

So if you have a very poor credit rating score, they'll punish you even more by giving you a higher APR which will push up the amount of interest you have to repay. A very expensive Christmas.

Yet that's not the worst of it. Imagine you've had a hard year, the credit crunch has taken hold, and you're wondering how you will manage for Christmas presents and giving your kids what they want. Imagine you had the chance of a buy now, pay later offer - would you take it? Christmas now, and pay for it later, when the economy has recovered and you're back in employment?

Very also offer a Buy Now Pay February 2011 service. What's so bad about that? Well, first of all, you can have all the joys of this Christmas 2009, escape paying for it, have another Christmas in 2010 before the bill comes in for Christmas 2009 in February 2011. You simply cannot keep deferring payments forever - the credit people at Very will come looking for their money.

Secondly, the bill they come looking for will be very big.

Interest will be calculated from the date of your purchase but it will not be charged to the account until the expiry of the Buy Now Pay Later period. You can avoid paying interest on the products purchased on this offer by paying the cash price in full prior to the expiry of the Buy Now Pay Later period. Typical 39.7% APR Variable. The actual APR applicable to you may be different from the typical APR based on your credit status.

So while you have an interest free period of time (which customers probably wouldn't use if they had the money in the first place), when the clock hits February 2011, the full weight of interest calculated from the day you bought the goods (December 2009) will be applied to your account. That's 14 months of interest of at least 39.7% (depending on your credit rating again) on top of whatever Christmas cost you. And that adds up to a very expensive Christmas.

The Cube

Earlier this evening we were sitting watching TV, when Phillip Schofield's programme came on UTV / ITV1. The Cube is a big glass cube, as the name suggests, and inside, challengers take on The Cube to perform certain tasks for monetary reward. There are memory tasks, balance tasks, ability tasks, and many others. It seems that things which appear very easy in every day life suddenly become very difficult inside The Cube.

The rewards are very profitable - £1000, then £2000, then £10,000, then £20,000, then £50,000, then £100,000, then £250,000. Challengers have nine lives to use in the pursuit of the big money. Compelling viewing as the contestants try to win against the cube's tricks.

When the nine lives run out, the contestant loses all money won so far, although before they begin a particular challenge they can decide if they keep what they have or risk it for the next prize. They enter the cube, and either emerge with a prize, or with nothing.

Reminds me of the cubes in the Bible. The inner sanctuary of the Temple was a cube, as 1 Kings 6:20 tells us: 'The inner sanctuary was twenty cubits long, twenty cubits wide, and twenty cubits high, and he overlaid it with pure gold.' This is the Most Holy Place, the Holy of Holies, where the High Priest entered once a year, on the Day of Atonement, to make sacrifice for the sins of the people. Entering without the blood of sacrifice would have meant certain death for the High Priest. As it was, he achieved the purification of his people for the year.

However, as the letter to the Hebrews reminds us, this was but an earthly shadow of the reality of the heavenly temple, where the Lord Jesus entered to achieve eternal salvation and satisfaction for sin (Hebrews 9:12). The thing is, though, that in contrast to the television competitors, Jesus never leaves the cube, and has won his eternal prize - the inheritance of all things and the salvation of his people. How do we know he never leaves the cube?

Fast forward to John's vision of eternity in Revelation 21. John is shown the holy city, the new Jerusalem. Revelation 21:16 shows us that 'The city lies foursquare, its length the same as its width. And he measured the city with his rod, 12,000 stadia. Its length and width and height are equal.' Another cube, the eternal dwelling place of the Lord God, where God dwells with his people forever.

Isn't it great how even television programmes can be reminders of the gospel? Phillip Schofield asks if you'll enter the cube. Will you be part of that greater reward in the greater cube of the New Jerusalem?

Sermon: Titus 3: 1-7

I wonder if you’ve ever seen the Channel 4 programme, How Clean Is Your House? Each week, Kim and Aggie go to the house of someone who is in dire need of help. Their house hasn’t been cleaned in fifteen or twenty years. The living is a mess of papers or takeaway wrappers or whatever, and it needs to be transformed. After a lot of hard work, some cleaning secrets, and half an hour of television, the house is like new. You wouldn’t recognise it. Something dirty, unclean, is transformed by cleaning.

In the Bible reading tonight, we see something similar happening. Paul is writing to his young colleague, Titus, who is on the island of Crete. He’s there to help establish the church, and teach sound doctrine. But just as important as getting the doctrine right, Paul also wants to see the Christians live out what they believe. As we saw right back in chapter 1, ‘knowledge of the truth, which accords with godliness.’

But unlike the cleaning programme on TV, or indeed any of the makeover kind of programmes, Paul sets out right at the start of this passage how the Christians are to behave. In the programmes, you see the state of the house, then all the effort to get it set right, and only in the last couple of minutes, the finished article. Yet here, Paul says how the Christian should behave straight away.

Earlier in the letter, he dealt with behaviour in the church (chapter 1, with his emphasis on leaders), and in the home (chapter 2). Now he turns his attention to the state and society. How should Christians behave in relation to the government?

In verse 1, Paul says we should be submissive to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, and to be ready for every good work. Is this the mark of Christians today? Are we submissive and obedient to the authorities? You might even be offended by me asking that question - and yet it’s still an issue for us. Do we obey the laws of the land, or bend some of them? For some, it’s straightforward - we don’t kill people, and we don’t rob banks. But what about laws like speed limits? Or traffic lights?

The reason Paul sets being ready for every good work here is because over in Romans 13 (:3-4), he writes of the duties of government - to approve the good and punish the evil. As we submit to government, then, we support them in being ready to do good, just as they approve what is good. Yet, as can sometimes happen, the government perverts things, and approves what is evil, and punishes what is good - in these circumstances, we must recognise God’s over-arching authority, and obey God rather than men.

Widening the picture from government, to those around us, Paul gives us four patterns of behaviour, two negative and two positive: speak evil of no one, avoid quarrelling, being gentle, and showing perfect courtesy towards all people. Are these how we are known around Dundonald? Are these the things that non-Christians would say or notice about us?

This, then, is the standard that Paul sets out for Christians. It should be so different from those around us, because, as Paul goes on to point out, this isn’t how things are. It also isn’t how things were for Paul and the other believers before they became Christians. Notice at the start of verse 3: ‘For we ourselves were once...’

Here’s how it was: Rather than being obedient and submissive to authority, we were foolish, disobedient, led astray, and slaves to various passions and pleasures. It’s not a very positive picture Paul paints, is it? Because, you see, he’s not just thinking of human authority here. He’s also thinking of God’s authority, which we disobey, and turn astray. As Isaiah 53:6 says: ‘All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way.’

As well as this, our attitudes to those around us wasn’t much better: ‘passing our days in malice and envy, hated by others and hating one another.’ This is fairly bleak stuff. Rather than seeking the best for others, putting them before ourselves, the picture of those without Christ is one of me first - viewing others with malice and envy. Malice is wishing the worst for others, while envy is being jealous of what others have. The summary at the end there, hated by others and hating one another seems harsh, and yet, in the core of our being, this is probably true.

We’ve seen what Paul calls for in Christians, and we’ve seen how things were before. The two are completely different - there’s obviously a change involved when we come to faith, when we turn to Christ. But what is it brings about the transformation? Is it some lessons in treating others nicely? Is it having our backbone removed? Is it something that we work up within ourselves, so that we try really, really hard to be nice to people?

No. None of the above. To be blunt, nothing that we can do can make us change from hating others to being submissive and obedient. Just as in the How Clean Is Your House programme, it takes something from outside, to do what the person themselves cannot do.

Paul says: ‘But when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Saviour appeared, he saved us.’ It took the intervention of God our Saviour, and specifically the Lord Jesus (who seems to be referred to here as the goodness and loving kindness). And how was it that God our Saviour saves people?

Notice that Paul spells out that it’s not because of us, or what we have done: ‘not because of works done by us in righteousness’ - that would have been impossible. Malice, envy, hatred aren’t exactly what God is looking for! This is entirely Paul’s point. Because our actions are always evil, we can’t expect to be saved by them.

Rather, our only hope is being saved by God’s mercy and his grace. Those twin characteristics go together, and we see them here in this passage too - verse 5 and verse 7. We are saved by his mercy and justified by his grace. Mercy is when God does not give us what our deeds deserve. Grace is when God gives us what we don’t deserve.

Our evil deeds deserve the judgement and condemnation of a holy God. Yet that holy God, in the person of the Lord Jesus, took our sins, died for them, died for us, taking the punishment that we deserve. He doesn’t give us what we deserve. But more than that, he then gives us what we don’t deserve. We don’t deserve to be welcomed into heaven, to be seen as justified (just as if I’d never sinned), yet he does this for us too.

Yet, as if even this weren’t enough, Paul goes even further in describing how God’s mercy and grace have been given to us. Earlier we were talking about the cleaning of the houses in the TV programme. Here we see the washing of regeneration. God brings about his transformation in us, not through brainwashing, but through soul-washing! The washing, the cleansing that comes about through Jesus’ blood is that which regenerates us - makes us new, and changes us. Another picture is that of renewal - renewal of the Holy Spirit, which again makes us new.

[Some might think that this washing of regeneration refers to Baptism, so that when we are baptised, then we are born again, but this is inaccurate. Baptism is a symbol of the regeneration, the washing or cleansing of the believer, which has already happened. Baptism is the public sign of what has already happened in the individual’s life, as a believer, or of what we pray will happen as we baptise the children of believers.]

This passage is, if you will, the testimony of a believer. Here is how I now live, but it was not always like this. And here is how the transformation came about. As we’ve seen already in Titus, a change in behaviour comes as a result of the gospel, as we respond to what God has done for us in Christ.

So where are you in this scheme? Are you a believer already? If so, then how does this appear in your life? Can those around see something different in the way you live, compared to the others in the factory or office or classroom? Let’s be clear that the passage isn’t asking you to pull your socks up, or to try a bit harder. Rather, it’s a call to recognise what God has done for you, and to live in response to that.

Or maybe you’re not yet a believer. You identify very well with that description of the non-Christian - malice, envy, hating others and being hated. You don’t like how things are, you want to change, but you don’t know how. Look to Christ, and find the grace and mercy that he provides - he who was hated and despised, who went to the cross to bear the punishment for your sin. He can wash you clean, and save you tonight, if you will ask him.

This sermon was preached at Sundays at 6.30 in St Elizabeth's Halls, Dundonald on Sunday 19th April, 2009.

If You Don't Want To Know The Score

... look away now.

So said the lady doing the sports report on the late BBC news bulletin last night. It's a moment of warning that the results from the Premiership football matches will be shown on the screen, and if you're waiting to watch Match of the Day afterwards, then you can avoid knowing how your team has done, and see how it transpires in the highlights.

Which made what happens next quite funny, but probably also horrible for those in this boat. Imagine avoiding all news and sports coverage all evening, stopping friends from telling you how your favourite team got on, being two minutes away from the start of Match of the Day, and then this happens:

The results are shown on the screen, and then the sports reporter reads them out as well! She had said to look away, but you haven't closed your ears, and so the suspense is ruined, the results are broadcast.

Reminds me of this world. Some people run about, not wanting to know what's coming next, or how it's all going to end up. Yet the answer is there for us already, in the Scriptures. Revelation (while some of it may be hard to understand), plainly shows that the Lord Jesus has won and that he is going to return as King and Judge, to send the guilty to hell and to usher in the new heavens and the new earth in his perfect reign forever.

Why anyone wouldn't want to know the final score astounds me - because it gives us confidence as we live for Christ and witness for him - he will return and take us to be with him.

This Little Light of Mine

There seems to be a current fashion for advertisers to use songs from Sunday School. Previously, we noted the corruption of 'He's got the Whole World in His Hands' for PSP. The other day, I noticed another in this trend, using the song 'This Little Light of Mine, I'm gonna let it shine' to advertise the new Honda hybrid car.



"Everyone wants to be good. And now, there's a hybrid for everyone. The affordable Honda Insight." So declares the commercial. Therefore, to be good, you should buy this car - it's the secret to the world's problems. To use the title of Nick Hornby's novel, it's How To Be Good.

While the idea for the ad is certainly clever, it's almost distracting. Shining your little light might be about being good, but certainly not in a being good for the sake of it kind of way - no, it's about witnessing for Jesus Christ, shining the light of the gospel for Him in this dark world.

So while buying a hybrid car might be slightly better for the environment, this suggests that you can be "good" based on your choice of car. I don't think so!

Plus One

With the death of analogue TV coming in the near future, everything is going digital. Freeview Digiboxes are all the rage, or even televisions with digital receivers built in. Even better, the television set can auto tune itself, go through the complete frequency range and provide the full list of channels available. Wonderful.

Except there's one missing from our set. A channel I would like to receive as it has some good programmes - Top Gear, Whose Line Is It Anyway (UK version which is much better than the American version with all their hollering), Have I Got News For You, Never Mind the Buzzcocks, and the Jeremy Clarkson specials. Dave is missing. A sad loss. One of the reasons I know it's missing is because we are receiving Dave + 1. Strange that we can get the hour later showing, but not the 'live' showing!

Well, it's better than nothing.

2008 Blog Review

2008 has undoubtedly been a year of big changes for me, perhaps reflected in the fewest annual blog postings thus far. Maybe 2009 will be different!

January (24 posts) started with some golfing in Cultra, and a huge snowfall. The big thing in the month, though, was the Curacy news that I was packing my bags for Dundonald.

February (16) had a trip to Croke Park to watch Brazil play the Republic of Ireland, and a meeting with a 400 year-old nun at St Michan's.

March (14) was the month of my book launch, an early Easter and a visit to the Leaning Tower of Pisa.

April (16) saw more Dublin football - when Linfield got the blues and we met the Garda Riot Squad up close. At the end of the month, to celebrate the end of college, we became vikings.

May (19) had a few endings, both my placement in Ballyward and Rathfriland, and then from college itself when the exams were completed.

June (17) was the month of ordinations in Dublin, Cork, Armagh, and my own in Dromore.

In July (9), I married my sweetheart, Dr Lynsey.

August (13) was the month when both Lynsey and myself started work, and I preached my first sermon as Curate of St Elizabeth's. Other than a few sermons and a few thoughts, there wasn't much else to link here!

September (13) saw the anti-abortion petition, and a trip to London. I also met up with Bernie and we saw some neon socks!

October (26), the biggest month of blogging thus far, was boosted by a mini-series called Theology at the Theatre, inspired by Les Miserables: 1, 2, 3. More gallavanting, this time to the Clergy Conference in Donegal and a trip to Slieve League, and I noticed an interesting use of sins in advertising. We also reached the 1000th posting on the blog.

November (29) topped October, and started with some interesting observations on Belfast's Tower Bridge, fighting monks, remembrance and armistice, and flag days. Along the way, we also talked about a new book and a new perspective on the Great Famine. However, the month ended with a terrible shock, the sudden death of Constable James Magee, an old friend, and a great policeman.

December (35) was the month when there were a few postings on TV programmes including Hollyoaks, I'm a Celebrity twice, X Factor, as well as a comment on a PSP advert. December was also the month of Advent expectation and Christmas.

The Genius of the Genealogy (Matthew 1:1-17)

When a person becomes a Christian, it's common for them to start reading the Bible. Perhaps, slightly scared by the Old Testament (without reason, according to Dale Ralph Davis), they'll turn to the New Testament, and endeavour to read through it all. However, they might just come a cropper before they even finish the first chapter. Open up to Matthew chapter 1, and you're confronted with a genealogy. A list of names from 42 generations, from Abraham to Jesus. Unpronounceable names like Hezekiah, Shealtiel, Zerubbabel, and Jehoshaphat.

You almost want to ask Matthew what he's doing! You're opening a Gospel, an account of Jesus' life, teaching and deeds, and you give a huge list of names. For most of us, we're not really into genealogies - although with TV programmes like 'Who Do You think You Are?' there's some interest in family history. Yet Matthew puts it centre stage.

In fact, you would even want to take it to the top and ask the Holy Spirit what He was thinking of when he inspired Matthew to include it. But, as we believe, the Scriptures are God-breathed and God-inspired, so there must be a purpose to it.

This morning in St Elizabeth's, Matthew 1:1-17 was our Bible reading. Mark was preaching on it, and later in the week it'll be available on the St Elizabeth's sermon site. Why the genealogy? Jesus is presented as the fulfilment of God's promises - to Abraham, and to David. God's patience is presented throughout the good, the bad and the ugly generations of Israel's history and Jesus' great- grandparents.

Hallelujah

So the X-Factor's Alexandra Burke has made it to Number One with her over-the-top version of 'Hallelujah'. For the first time in ages, I've actually been mildly interested in what the UK's top song was. But mostly because I wanted the top spot to go to the Jeff Buckley version. I didn't think it was possible, as I've been watching I-Tunes during the week, and Alexandra was up there.

But you might be wondering what the song is all about. Leonard Cohen's own version of the 'Hallelujah Chorus' might seem straightforward enough, but what about the rest? Well, we actually have some biblical events sneaking into the chart-topper. David's secret chord refers to his lyre, which he played for King Saul (when Saul was still the king of Israel), when Saul was afflicted by an evil spirit. 'And whenever the evil spirit from God was upon Saul, David took the lyre and played it with his hand. So Saul was refreshed and was well, and the evil spirit departed from him.' (1 Samuel 16:23).

David also features in part of the second verse, where he sees Bathsheba bathing on the roof. That is, when David should have been off leading his troops into battle (2 Samuel 11:2). One thing leads to another, in a slippery slope of sin, from seeing her bathing, to having her in his bed (adultery), to making her pregnant, to trying deception by recalling Bathsheba's husband Uriah the Hittite from the battle in the hope he would have sex with his wife. Uriah, however was more noble than David, and refused to enjoy conjugal rights when his brother-soldiers were still encamped in the fields around Rabbah. And so David turned to murder - albeit by the hands of the Ammonites. (And they allow this stuff to be in the Bible! It's like a Christmas special episode of Coronation Street or Eastenders...)

Cohen mixed his biblical allusions, though, because I don't think that Bathsheba was known as a hairdresser. She didn't cut any hair, but over in Judges we find a famous chop. Delilah was a Philistine, and she seduced Samson, who was one of the Judges of Israel - the God-empowered leaders who delivered God's people from their enemies. He had long hair, which was the secret of his strength - it being a visible sign of the vow he was under as a Nazirite, and eventually after a lot of nagging, Samson told Delilah his secret. So she cut his hair, and he lost a lot more than his flowing locks - his freedom, and his eyes.

So there we are - it's a cold and a broken Hallelujah - the cost of love, it appears. Something which is overwhelmed by Alexandra's powerful voice, and so the song isn't presented as it should. Buckley all the way, even if it's just Number 2 this Christmas time!

Eoghan Third

X Factor final night, and Dungiven's Eoghan Quigg has been voted out. Sad to see, as he was doing so well. The Belfast Telegraph and Ulster Television had been going a bit crazy over Eoghan, and maybe hyped him up a bit too much.

Alexandra to win now. She's far better than JLS. Even if she is just another Leona.